My word of the year popped up almost every day this week. I didn't set it as a goal or even an intention, but there it was all the same.
Instead of rushing around and pushing myself to get back in the studio and work, work, work, I got curious. What is it that really pushes me to create? And is it coming from the right place? Or maybe, there is no right place?
After some forced meditation, ok I know force and mediation don't go together. But sometimes, I have to make myself sit down and be still. Music helps me settle and journaling helps me distract my mind enough to hear my inner voice. Here's what I heard: guilt and fear. Those are the forces that chase me around and around inside the studio and out.
Curious. I decided to try something different. Sitting and not doing any creating until I truly felt the desire. My mind kept throwing guilt and fear words at me like: procrastinator, lazy, and the worst: hobbyist. Ouch. I felt that old urge to rush, rush, rush and push some work out.
I kept sitting. After a while of watching the clouds move across the sky, listening to my dog snoring and my cat padding around softly, I had an idea. I wanted to try to combine an old love with a new one. Into the studio I went, rummaging through my closet and grabbing out inks, watercolors and even an old watercolor paper pad.
I happily played with my watercolors and inks on paper on one side of my studio. While it dried, I took out a few thrown porcelain bowls, got out a few under glazes and played again, treating the bowls like watercolor paper and the under glazes like paints and ink.
Social Media Curiosity.
Last year, I was asking myself questions about social media. Did I want to be on all the social media sites I was on? Were they necessary for business or pleasure? And did they actually bring me business or pleasure?
Since then, I've said no to LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest. Even more curious, is how the topic was being discussed at an art meeting last week, too. There are people who have never and do not want to be online at all. Some who are completely invested online. When asked, I said I was shocked when I counted the number of online media sites I'd signed up for over the years.
While I do believe the Internet is a good resource for me, I'm not sure which sites are really right.
Like so many people, I've been sucked into the health and diet vortex. Eat this food and be healthier. Stop eating this food and lose weight. Count your steps, your calories, your body mass index, your breath. I'm a healthy person but what I'm sick of is all this stuff swirling around me. And no matter how healthy someone might say it is, worrying about it all the time, isn't. I'm going to stop buying into it, on tv or in the store.
Instead, I'm going to follow my body with curiosity. What am I hungry for? What smells good and looks good and tastes good? Where would I like to go...for a walk...to yoga...both? How do I feel right now? What feels right to me?
I don't know what kind of work I'll make this year or if it will be any different than last year. I'm not sure which social media sites I'll keep for my art business and which ones I'll keep for pleasure. And food wise, will I be doing the right thing or not?
I don't know. But I do know, I'll be curious to find out.