It's Spring Break in my neck of the woods and for many that means taking time off school or work. Since I work for myself, asking myself for a vacation can get a little awkward. And, unfortunately, the conversation doesn't always go well.
Artist me to Boss me, "Ah, it's Spring Break, so I was wondering about taking a few days off?"
Boss me to Artist me, "You don't need a Spring Break. You're an artist, you play everyday."
It's true. I am an artist. I do use clay and create fun, functional ceramics, masks and sculptures. I love what I do, most of the time. But just because I love it and create whimsical, fun pieces doesn't mean it isn't work. I have schedules and meetings and deadlines, too.
When my kids were little and had school breaks, I knew I wouldn't get any studio work done. I didn't fight it. I gave into the rhythm and spent the time coming up with creative things to do for and with my children. If they wanted to go skating, we did it. A new game to play? A movie? Sure!
Why do I find this so hard to do for myself?
Guilt? Shame? Fear? Sure. I fear that my clay will all dry out. My pieces will not get finished and I'll waste my life. If I take time off, time away, time out that I might never get back to work. I will veg out on the window seat staring out the window. Forever. Or run away to never Neverland and never come back.
What if I actually did all the above and well, nothing bad happened?
What if I choose to have fun and faith in me, instead?
Work of the heart is still work. And doing good work also requires time out, time off and, sometimes, time away.
I'd write more, but, well it's Spring Break. Time to go outside, smell the lilacs and rosemary, take time off and stare out the window. See ya later!