Saturday, March 16, 2024

March Forth!



It’s March. The month of trees budding, daffodils blooming and St. Patrick’s Day. And time to move the clocks forward in my part of the planet. And the first day of Spring is this week!


With all the changes in and around my life, I’ve struggled a bit to keep going at times. But when I saw someone post, “march forth” on March fourth, I took it as my ‘marching’ orders. It’s time. Time for me to quit looking back in sadness and fear and start moving forward. 


Marching Forth in the Studio. 



In the last blog, I had a picture of a cone 6 kiln load. Even after all these years working in clay, I can’t predict how pieces will turn out in the final glaze firing. In that firing, some pieces cracked, some stuck to the kiln stilts and a piece warped. I did get 3 beautiful new red Lily Vases. 




Last week, I glazed and fired some big black and white leaf platters, 3 little polar bears and a new cat figure. I’m so glad this time, everything came out perfect! Whew!


Springing Forward.  


This year has had many challenges and the last few weeks have been no exception. My darling Darby got into something when I let him out for his last potty break. It was raining and I couldn’t see what he was doing but a trip to the vet was necessary. He’s fine now, but it was scary. 



I’ve been doing a lot of experimenting in the studio this year. Instead of throwing functional pieces, I’ve been doodling with sculpture again. Sculpture is where I started with clay and now I’m back to doing it again. This time, bigger animals with more detail. Where these will go? I don’t know. And that’s ok. 


It’s time to claim my new life chapter

Is throwing out and hand building in?

Work taking a backseat to fun?

I’ll take a clue from the daffodils,

Let it bloom


Thursday, February 22, 2024

Light Moves

 


The sun is streaming in my windows this afternoon and it makes me smile. I feel warm and cozy and safe. These are feelings I haven’t felt in a while, quite a while. But rather than focus on the past, I want to focus on here and now. 



Like this morning’s walk in the park with my grandson, Madden. It was clear and cool but not cold. The ducks and geese were all busy swimming in the lake. As my husband and I walked along enjoying the views, Madden took a short nap after having his pumpkin pancakes for breakfast. 


Glazing and Firing, finally. 


Slowly, the shelves in my studio were getting full and that makes me happy. Because of the recent health issues, it’s taken me longer than usual to get to the point of having enough work to glaze and fill the kiln. But today, I did it!



It’s truly a mix of work. Some thrown bowls I did back in August. There are little plates and big plates I worked on with my granddaughter, Meyer for her little brother, Madden. Some new red Lily Vases. A few new figures, which I’ll admit, I’m not too excited about but we’ll see. 


Lightening Up. 


It’s been a heavy year for me and my family. A very heavy year: lay offs, health insurance problems, unexpected health issues, hospitalization and recovery. For months, I’ve felt overwhelmed and traumatized by all of it. 


But today, walking through the park, I felt lighter. Breathing in the air and sunshine, I felt healthy and strong. And I looked forward to loading the kiln and firing new pieces.


It’s time to let the sunshine in

To breathe sweet air, give light baby kisses

And feel my heart, soul and feet

Making light moves 

Again



Monday, February 12, 2024

Moving with Love

 


I can’t believe it, February is here! I love looking for the hints of spring peeking out all around on my walks around the park. And it’s almost Valentine’s Day. I’ll admit, I love hearts and flowers and chocolate, so this is one of my favorite times of year.


But with all I’ve been through this year, it’s feeling a little different. I’m taking things a bit slower.  I’m rushing less and resting more. I’m enjoying both the comfort of my sunny nook and the calm of my studio. 


Making is my form of zen. 



Whether I’m baking, crocheting or working with clay, I’m in my happy place. In the last few weeks, I’ve been underglazing and bisque firing. First, I add a layer of color and some details to my pieces and bisque fire them. Then, I add washes to each piece so the details stand out and fire them again.




There’s something so soothing about laying the black wash on each piece. Then after they dry, wiping it away to reveal the intricate details. Today, I loaded the kiln for the second firing to set the underglazes. 



Moving on gently. 


One thing I’m learning this year is patience. It’s never been my strong suit, I’ll admit. I’ve always walked fast and pushed myself to do more and more. But now I know, I need to listen to my body more and not my head. Instead of moving to a busy bee voice, I need to move with gentleness and care and love.   


Watching the black underglaze flow

Seeking and filling every little vein of the leaf

Revealing nature’s hidden designs

Slows me and shows me the depth of life

In this month of love, perhaps, it’s time to show some to myself. 





Thursday, January 25, 2024

Moving Forward

 


  

One step at a time, I’m moving forward into this New Year and this new life. I’m feeling better. I’m eating and enjoying food for the first time in months.  My energy is returning. And the clouds are lifting from my body, mind and soul. Here’s the weird thing: I didn’t even realize how many clouds were hanging in, over and around me. I just thought it was the stress of change and everyday life. 


I was wrong. I was physically sick. I didn’t know it. When I finally got medical coverage, and started to think something might be wrong, I didn’t know what to do or where to go. The medical coverage was a difficult and confusing labyrinth requiring calls to a 1-800 number for pre-approval and the info given was conflicting and confusing. 


Bottom line: I had to wait too long to see a doctor. During the wait, my condition got worse. I’m very grateful to the urgent care doctors, surgeon and nurses. And I’ve very grateful to be well now. 


Picking up the pieces. 



The work in my studio had to sit for many months. There are pieces that were thrown and slab built during the summer and fall. Again, thinking I lacked motivation when I was really ill, they sat on the shelves. 


Now that I’ve recovered and my energy is back, I’ve been happily busy in the studio. New leaf plates got some color, too. Three new Lily Vases got underglazed in red. 



And I had fun painting three new polar bears and a cat. Next on the agenda is a bisque firing. Finally!


Moving with my heart and my hearts. 



I’m grateful to be packing up some heart themed pieces to take and sell at a local gallery. I loved making these heart mugs, teacups, wine cups and candle holders. And I’m hoping they bring color and love into other people’s lives. 



I’m so grateful to have more energy, appetite and strength. 

The grey fog that seemed to hang over me is gone. 

I feel renewed and ready to move forward. 

Putting my heart into my work and life.

Just in time for Valentine’s Day.    


Tuesday, January 9, 2024

2024 Word of the Year: Move

 


Every year, I chose a new word to help guide and inspire me. Last year’s word was Enjoy and while I’d like to say I had an ‘enjoyable’ year, I did not. It was a very hard year. Layoffs. Bureaucratic nightmares for 6 months trying to get healthcare and then, finding myself in the hospital. I’m good now, but I’m glad to see it over. 


It’s time to stop looking back in fear and anxiety and start looking ahead. Yes, I have to be careful as I recover, I tend to do too much, too fast. But I’m coming to the conclusion that it’s time to do more than reading novels and drinking tea. 


Move with care. 



I used to walk around my neighborhood lake almost everyday. I love the walk not just for exercise but for inspiration. Egrets, herons, beavers, otters, ducks, geese, deer and even coyotes live around the lake. The leaves changing, water reflections and sunsets give me food for my mind and soul. 


Obviously, after my hospital stay, I couldn’t walk everyday. I started out carefully walking around the neighborhood. But slowly, I’ve worked my way back to my ‘woods’. Today, I made it 1/2 way around the lake before the rain and snow started and it felt so good. 


Move with joy. 



I am a ‘maker’. To sit and read is fine for awhile, but I crave making things with my hands. It’s not just therapy, it’s joy. So it’s been hard to have to rest and see my studio work sit on the shelves. There’s so much I need to do: underglaze painting, bisque firing, glazing and final firing. 



To keep my spirits up, I’ve been crocheting. I know many might see it as an old fashioned ‘grandma’ thing but I’ve been doing some kind of work in fabric, thread, beads, and yarn all my life. I’ve embroidered, cross stitched, quilted, beaded and crocheted. I suck at sewing garments but I’ve made many pillows and throws in fabric and yarn. It’s my form of therapy and it works for me. 


Move with love. 


I was brought up to work and work hard. Move, move, move. Keep busy. Be productive. But I’ve begun to realize that pressure causes a lot of stress. My childhood coping skills of being a moving target served me then, but now, I need to make my own moves. I need to learn to move with love: for my mind, my body and my heart. 



What does that mean exactly? I’m not quite sure. But I do know it’s time to listen closer to my heart than my mind. Instead of jumping up every five minutes or rushing to and from the store or pushing myself to do more and make more, I need to breathe in. See the sun stream in. Feel the softness of the clay or yarn. Savor the walk while trying not to count my steps. 


Move. 

Move with care for myself, my body and my soul. 

Move with joy for making, baking and crocheting. 

Move with love for my family and myself. 


What moves you this year?


Wednesday, December 27, 2023

A Quiet Christmas



I didn’t plan it. I didn’t expect it. But sometimes life just takes over whether you want it to or not. And sometimes, it saves your life. 


Ok, here’s the story. I woke up and felt sick. The kind of sick you can’t ignore anymore and believe me, I had become an expert in ignoring it for months. But on this morning, it was not going to let me ignore it anymore. It scared me enough to make me head to the local urgent care. 


Luckily, I was seen right away. The nurse, doctor and tech staff were all patient, good listeners and soon had a diagnosis. I had diverticulitis. Which, I have found out is very common in adults over the age of 40. A prescription for antibiotics was phoned in, a CT scan was scheduled asap and I was sent home. 



Two days later, I went in for a CT scan and the diagnosis was the same: diverticulitis. I was relieved. A course of antibiotics and I would be fine. Right? 


Emergency Hell.


At 5pm that same day, I got a call from the urgent care doctor telling me to go to the Emergency Room ASAP. I was shocked. Stunned. I tried to talk him out of it. He said, “NO, you have to go to the hospital. NOW.”


So, in a panic, my husband drove to St. Vincent’s. We checked into the emergency room. We found a bench and waited for two hours. Just as we were getting up to leave, they called us into an emergency room.


Next thing I knew, I was admitted and taken to the surgical floor. I was told I needed a procedure to drain an abscess in my colon. I was set up with several antibiotic IV. I was terrified. But I had great nurses, who helped me understand what was going on. A young doctor came in and explained what they were going to do. The next day I had a procedure to drain the abscess. By the following day, I was allowed to go home with many instructions.


Cancelling Christmas. 



It was a very hard decision. We had all the presents, food arranged but it was decided with my condition and little  grandchildren with colds that we had to cancel our Christmas Day celebration. I was upset, but I knew it was for the best. 


Instead, my husband and I just hunkered down by the fire. I read, sipped tea and looked at the lovely lighted tree. I talked and video chatted with my kids. Nibbled on holiday cookies brought by a friend. And tried hard to see the bigger picture. 



Goodness and gratefulness.                                                                                                                                                                               


Thank goodness for my husband for doing the heavy lifting: wound care, medicines, groceries, cooking, cleaning and moral support. I’m so grateful for my great kids who took care of the dog and ran grocery errands. I’m grateful for the kind nurses, doctors and imaging staff. I’m grateful so, so grateful to the doctor who insisted I go to the hospital, he probably saved my life. 


Sometimes life throws you a big curve.

Listen to your body. 

Be brave. 

Don’t fight it out of fear. 

Trust it.  And help it heal.