It's been an exciting, memorable, fun and nerve-racking month. It started out with deadlines looming and fast paced finishing. The show went smoother than I anticipated and I sold work. The dust barely settled when it was time take off to see my daughter perform a lead role in an opera, rush home to catch up on gardening, help on a local art show jury, have relatives visit, family birthdays and take a tour on a classic railroad train.
Now, it's time to get back to working on my art.
It's been almost 5 weeks since I've slapped a wedge of clay on my wheel or rolled a slab. When I'm in my studio groove, I have a routine. It gives a rhythm to my work and life. Any maybe my art, too.
I feel a bit out of sync this week.
My throwing was not easy and smooth. The clay seemed hard and filled with weird bubbles. I struggled and fought with the porcelain instead of relaxing into the silky, smoothness. Slab work went a bit easier but I found myself questioning every addition and experimentation.
My usual, old routine just isn't slipping neatly into place. My mind wanders back and forth between then and now. What pieces sold and what didn't. I'm thinking about what I've made and what I need to make.
I see that it isn't just the routine that's slipping here. It's my mind. Comparing and contrasting. This with that. Today and yesterday. Me and them. But most importantly, I'm wondering.
What do I want to make? Where is my heart and my art going?
These are the true questions. The answers come in their own way. So I put my hands in the clay. I place my faith in the process even when it brings more twists and turns. And I keep working back in the studio, again. And again. And again.