Fun Moves

 

My word of the year is Move. I picked it because with all the physical and emotional challenges thrown my way last year, I really felt the need to move on. Maybe the truth is I was desperate to move away from all the pain, shock, and fear that dominated my life last year. 

I’ve learned it takes more time to heal than I thought. I’m not a patient person. But looking back, I can see I am moving forward and healing is happening. 

Making is fun. 

I love to make things. Working with my hands is calming and centering and, well fun too. I’m grateful for the chance to create almost everyday. It doesn’t have to be a work of art, either. Baking cookies. Crocheting hats or blankets or pillows. Even making a flower arrangement is fun. 

My husband found his fun this week, too. He’s been building a radio controlled plane! I’m so happy to see him having fun putting together this complicated working plane. 

This week, I had a new idea I wanted to make out of clay. Don’t ask me exactly what they are because I’m not sure what to call them. I just saw it in my mind’s eye and let my hands do the work. I started out just making one but before the week was out, I’d make three. 

Moving from pain to play. 

I’ve still got some health issues to resolve but it’s moving along. At last, I see a bright, sunny light at the end of this difficult tunnel. And I think one of the most important factors in getting well is finding something to do that’s fun. 

Clay is play for me. It’s soothing and quiet and soft. And creating something new from a slab of cool clay is, well, just fun. 

Moving through change is a challenge

It takes time, day by day

To find a way to play

To discover some new fun moves. 

May Days

 

Where did May go? As they say, time flys while you’re having fun, I’d say yes and sometimes time just flys. After a year of shocking life changes and health challenges, I’ve been having some fun which is a lovely surprise. 

Although it’s a lot of work, potting and planting my yard and patio is always fun. Going to the garden store is a delightful field trip. I love wandering through the isles of bright flowers and colorful hanging baskets. I couldn’t wait to get them home and planted. 

Grandchildren are grand indeed. 

This month also found my husband and I taking care of 2 of our 3 little ones. We had 3 year old, Cieran for four days. He is such a sweet and smart little boy. We went to the park one day and watched his pre-school fun run. He did art in my studio, cars of course, since that’s his favorite movie right now. 

On Thursdays, we get to have 16 month old Madden here. It’s so much fun to see him grow and learn and develop from little baby to toddler. We always take him on a walk to the park. He’s walking with confidence now and one of the best things is his desire to explore. 

Health and art. 

Finally, this month I had my appointment with my new PCP which if you don’t know(and I didn’t until recently) is my Primary Care Physician. In my new ‘healthcare’ world, this is the person who oversees all of my healthcare needs. I looked forward to this appointment and the chance to talk to one person about all my recent health care issues. I hoping this will make my experiences with this new healthcare system much easier. 

The studio is always my happy place. I’m so glad when I’m in there working with colors and clay. This week, I’m making new birds and playing with new ideas for little sculptures. And wondering about more paintings in a watercolor technique on clay. 

May Days fly by

Like the birds in the sky

Perhaps it’s time to sit and savor

The colors of the season

And let it all bloom, including me. 

An Appetite for Creativity. And Fun.

Are there times when you feel restless? Like there’s something there and if you just put your hand out, you’d catch it. But you don’t know what it is? Instead there’s a space like that feeling you get before you know you’re hungry. But you don’t want food for your body, you want food for your spirit. 

Creating feeds my spirit in many satisfying ways. It’s play. It’s work. It’s problem solving and it’s mystery. Even as I complete something new, I find a new sound, smell, color, shape, texture to puzzle and entice me. I wonder if I’ll ever really be finished?

Then an answer popped up my inbox:

“You created something amazing, and now you get to do it again.

And you get to do it again and again and again and again your whole life long. It is natural to feel a creative hunger for the next thing when we have completed the arc of creating the thing before. It is healthy. It is for the good. In fact, it is how life keeps us in the flow of life. We need to give ourselves permission around this. Permission for creative appetite.” Author, Tara Mohr

Completion and beginning again. 

Two sculptures I’ve been working on are ready for the last phase: glazing. Instead of feeling that satisfied feeling, I got restless. Instead of glazing these two sculptures, I started looking at two different sculptures on my top shelf. 

I took them down, held them in my hands and wondered. What to do? What colors did these pieces want? How to reveal the textures? Where was the story? 

I knew I needed to finish the other pieces and yet, I yearned to work these two, too. Instead of forcing myself to completion, I let them show me their colors as I painted. I let my creative appetite lead me. 

The result? Now instead of 2 sculptures glazed and fired, I’ll have 4. 

Fun in the sun.  

It was hot, hot, hot here. Although Darby came to us from California, he was hot too. Instead of hiding out with my R2D2 room air conditioner, I decided Darby and I needed to do something different. Like a Dr. Seuss book: it was too hot to play and too cold to stay, so Darby and I decided to go out and play. 

He was not sure what to do with this plastic pond. He sniffed it. He circled it. He ran around it. When I threw his ball in it, he delicately put one foot in to reach his ball. Finally, I used his favorite thing, the hose and got him in the pool. 

Adventure. Progress. Fun.

I wouldn’t say I’m an adventurer. I think of myself as a home body. But when I look around at where I am and where I’ve been, I clearly see the risks I’ve taken in my life. And that to me is the definition of adventure. 

Have you ever had someone tell you, “Well, you can’t do that. You really think you can just apply for that and get it?”  I applied anyway. Quite a few times in my life, someone actually said that what I wanted to do was not possible. (Because I was young, and a woman?) That it was not easy. (So what.) That it took time and talent. (So I’m out of time and talent?) That it was, well a good idea years ago, maybe. (Because I’m too old and a woman?)

I did it all anyway. Was I always successful? No. But most of the time, I not only surprised the naysayers, I surprised myself.

Take this week for example: Tuesday, I sat down to throw a few cups and vases which I usually do with no problem. But that day, I wound up with mush and one small bowl. Frustrated and determined, I sat down at my wheel the next day with a few more chunks of clay. I threw a cup, a bowl and played around with a new tool making a small cactus planter. Better, but definitely not great. 

Later, I walked into my studio and saw not just 4 small clay pieces but 4 shelves filled with a dozen thrown clay pieces all done in the last 3 weeks. So this week I surprised the biggest naysayer of all, me. 

Progress is not a straight line. 

I know I was taught to get from one place to another, you had to move forward. But the reality is progress is made in fits and starts. Two steps forward and one step back still moves you ahead. 

These sculptures sat on my studio shelves in pieces for months and years. I didn’t have a head for one of them and the other was a vase that didn’t want to be a vase. Now both are in the kiln again this week with another layer of color. If all goes well, they will get a final glaze and be finished at last. 

A summer of fun. 

That’s what I set as my goal for the next three months. I could hear myself saying loud and clear, “Well, that’s setting yourself up for failure, now isn’t it.” But being the stubborn adventurer that I am, I’m giving it a shot. 

The first week, my fun was going to the beach and running through the waves with my new pup, Darby. Sipping a Heff with lemon and munching on a big piece of fresh baked delicious pizza. 

This week, it was strawberries. There is nothing that says summer to me more than eating fresh just picked berries, especially if I don’t do the picking. I also love to cook. I have fun coming up with new ideas and making delicious new dishes. One day it was apple bacon strawberry waffles. Another day it was pork tenderloin and strawberry salad. Yet another day a strawberry galette. Fun and delicious. 

Here’s what I learned this week. Adventurers aren’t all mountain climbers, some are living among us making progress one small risk at a time and hopefully, learning to have fun a long the way. 

Summer of Fun

I love my work. Although much of my work is creative which is a way to have fun, it also requires concentration, organization and production. Fun with a purpose isn’t the same as fun for fun’s sake. 

Reading Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper this week made me realize that loving my work isn’t the same thing as having fun. She said, “Ask yourself: What’s my idea of fun? Am I having any? What makes me laugh out loud? Who makes me laugh? Can I laugh at myself?” 

What is my idea of fun?

It’s a question I never ask myself. I’m not sure I really know the answer and I find that puzzling. After all, I’m an artist. I create. I imagine. I throw. I paint. And I do love to do it. 

Is that the definition of fun? Is that the only way I have fun? I remember having fun as a child. Like kids playing hide and seek. Or dressing up. Or biking around the neighborhood. Or roller skating. I remember swinging on the swing and tilting up to watch the sky above me. And spinning until the world got so fuzzy I fell down laughing in the grass. 

Obviously, I had fun as a child. Am I having any as an adult?

Do grown ups even have fun? I mean real fun? In this serious climate surrounding us with hate speech and gun violence and fear, there’s not much that feels safe and fun or funny. 

I don’t like to bike or skate or spin until I’m dizzy anymore. I’m not a big party person, in fact big groups make me feel overwhelmed. I’ve been in book clubs and art groups and while that’s interesting and informative, I don’t think I’d call it fun. 

I do like the beach. The sound of the waves. The squish of the sand is fun. Add my husband and my dog, Darby and a day at the beach is a good way to have fun.

But who and what makes me laugh?

My new puppy Darby is sweet and silly. His innocent, bouncy, trouncing, tiggerishness makes me laugh out loud. He’s just so playful and happy and energetic. He may weight almost 70 pounds and be a handful at times, but even when he’s impish, he’s just all joy and light. 

My husband’s droll humor always catches me unaware and caught up in my own seriousness and gives me a laugh. 

Watching comedy movies and shows get me laughing out loud. Movies like Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Birdcage, even the new one called, Book Club are fun and funny.  

But I can see I need to laugh more. As Maria Shriver pointed out, “Yes, there are a lot of issues to worry about and care about these days. But having fun is good for your health, heart and soul.” 

Maybe I need a summer of funny? 

No Idea

After looking over my posts from the last few months, I wondered why am I writing all these blogs? How could writing about my thoughts, creative process, garden, kids, grandkid, and dog, mistakes and all, be at all interesting to anyone but me? 

And if it is, interesting that is, what would be new and interesting to write about this week? I had no idea.

Then, I realized. That’s it. That is exactly why I started writing my blog. And why I’ve kept writing it for over a decade.

Notes from the road. 

As a writer, I have a kind of compulsive need to put my thoughts and ideas down somewhere. I used to doodle on the side of my notebooks in school.  Then the scribble in my teenage diary which led to a lifetime of journaling. It was a way to go from lost in the world to found. 

When I started making art, I just transferred some of my writing into pastels, watercolors, oil paintings, clay animals, and window-screening masks. My story boxes really started out with the characters popping to life on my studio shelves where they told me their stories. 

I had no idea what I was going to do with my first blog, Susan’s Art & Words. First, I let my story boxes tell their stories and it evolved from there.

Sharing thoughts from my art, turned into sharing my life. 

Creating isn’t really that mysterious. It’s just life. You get up, look around and try to figure it all out. I had jobs where coming up with ideas was what I got paid for, so the idea of having no idea was terrifying. So I made a lot of stuff up. Turned out I was good at it, at least others thought so, and I kept my job. 

Making art wasn’t what I started out to do. I started out just making and learning and trying and failing. Sometimes something would turn out nice. Or I’d hate it and put it in my studio closet, which by the way, is where there are shelves of abandoned pieces. Poor things. Because, once again, I had no idea what to do with them. 

Then I realized that life is all about living with no idea.

I liked lilies, no idea why. And over the years, I’ve made many lilies. In copper, in window screening and now in clay. 

Faces seem to appear to me. They pop up on the linoleum floor, trees, clouds, and the sides of cliffs at the beach. No, I’m not stoned. (Ok, sorry about the pun) They’ve turned into masks, sculptures, paintings and now ‘Party Animals’. No idea why. 

So why, is having no idea a problem? Because our society wants us to be able to explain, discuss, outline our reasons with logic and have a marketing strategy. 

Well, I want to laugh. Smell. Taste. See all the faces in the clouds. And dance in the cool grass until I get dizzy. Want to join me?

Why? No idea.

Let’s dance anyway.   

  

Faith In Fun.

L

It's Spring Break in my neck of the woods and for many that means taking time off school or work.  Since I work for myself, asking myself for a vacation can get a little awkward. And, unfortunately, the conversation doesn't always go well.

Artist me to Boss me, "Ah, it's Spring Break, so I was wondering about taking a few days off?"

Boss me to Artist me, "You don't need a Spring Break. You're an artist, you play everyday."

It's true.  I am an artist.  I do use clay and create fun, functional ceramics, masks and sculptures.  I love what I do, most of the time.  But just because I love it and create whimsical, fun pieces doesn't mean it isn't work.  I have schedules and meetings and deadlines, too.

When my kids were little and had school breaks, I knew I wouldn't get any studio work done. I didn't fight it.  I gave into the rhythm and spent the time coming up with creative things to do for and with my children.  If they wanted to go skating, we did it.  A new game to play?  A movie?  Sure!  

Why do I find this so hard to do for myself?

Guilt? Shame? Fear? Sure. I fear that my clay will all dry out.  My pieces will not get finished and I'll waste my life.  If I take time off, time away, time out that I might never get back to work.  I will veg out on the window seat staring out the window.  Forever. Or run away to never Neverland and never come back. 

What if I actually did all the above and well, nothing bad happened?

What if I choose to have fun and faith in me, instead?  

Work of the heart is still work.  And doing good work also requires time out, time off and, sometimes, time away.

I'd write more, but, well it's Spring Break.  Time to go outside, smell the lilacs and rosemary, take time off and stare out the window.  See ya later!