Clearing and Experimenting

 

Taking the summer off isn’t all play and that’s a good thing for me. With all the life changes flowing my way, having things to do and feeling productive is grounding. The key to doing this without stressing myself out is space and pace. 

Clay, crochet and cleaning are on my summertime agenda. But instead of pushing and striving and making lists, I’m leaning into them softly. 

New clay. 

I wanted to try out some new clay options for small to medium sculptures. The first option did work but I wasn’t a fan of working with it. Then I got a sample of some new clay from another clay artist to try. This was a porcelain sculpture clay. It’s white, smooth and lovely.

It rolled out well. I liked working with it and the small figures seem to dry well. I didn’t have enough clay to try a larger piece, so I’m not sure how it would work out. But it was fun to play with a new clay. And to fire my kiln with some new landscape and sculpture pieces. 

Calming with crochet. 

Ok, I think I’m finally hitting that stage: Gram is making baby blankets. I taught myself to crochet about 20 years ago and focused on Freeform crochet, lacy angora scarves and felting. It’s always been fun, creative and calming. 

Now with 3 grandchildren and a need to ease my stress, I’ve been making throws and crib blankets from craft store yarn. It’s easy. The super soft yarn is not expensive. And there’s no complicated pattern, just chain and crochet until it’s as big as I want it to be.  

One slat at a time.

When we built our home 30 years ago, we had 9 custom wood blinds installed in the downstairs. It was a big expense then and an even bigger expense now. Before the downstairs flood, I looked into updating and replacing the blinds. But because of our back door configuration, the more up-to-date 2” blinds wouldn’t work. 

After all the demolition and reconstruction, the original wood blinds were filthy. There was only one way to get them clean: swifter dusters and Murphy’s Oil Soap. After dusting, I wiped across and under each and every slat. The kitchen sink was the biggest challenge. The only way to do it was to climb onto the counter and maneuver myself behind the sink. 

Releasing the old dust of the past, cleared my mind,

Crochet softened my heart, 

And new clay opened up places for new ideas. 

Isn’t that what Summer is for?

Taking the Summer Off

 

As an artist and mother, I’ve always worked year round with an occasional family vacation. And believe me I full intended to keep on, keeping on regardless of the changes in my life. In fact, I can get very stubborn about sticking to my work schedule which I’ve developed over the last 20 years. 

But now, I just can’t. 

Life changes and losses have hit me hard, leaving me feeling overwhelmed. Unresolved grief is sapping my energy. The more I fight it, the harder it is. Finally, I figured out forcing myself to keep marching ahead is just not working. 

Time to chill. 

As the traditional school year winds down, I started to remember my childhood summers. I biked to the woods and rested under trees. I read outside on the neighbors covered patio. I splashed in the community pool and played hide and seek after dinner until it got dark. 

I think the key words here: Play and Rest. 

While I love creating in clay and paint and glaze, my goal is to make work that sells. And I’ve been showing and selling my work for over 20 years now. Yes, my work has changed and so have I. When mentioned that to a fellow artist, she said that art is supposed to evolve. I felt a weight lifted. 

A balance of work and play and rest. Yes. 

There’s always something that needs to be done, but do I have to do it right now? Probably not. And has my creative work become less fun? Probably yes, because it’s become work. With all the life changes of the past 3 years, I’m exhausted.  I need time to feel the losses. Feel the sadness and tiredness. Find ways to heal and fill my soul again. 

And as much as I want to feel better fast, the more I push, the worse it gets. I can feel that what I need to feel better is to stop pushing myself. I need to slow down. But I know myself and doing nothing is not the way out either. 

The other day, the 3 C’s came to me. Three things I can do: crochet, clay and cleaning. Crochet is easy and comforting. Clay, now for play only, helps to feed my soul. And cleaning helps to clear my mind and my home of cobwebs. 

A summer to rest. 

Let myself live easier. 

Breath by breath. Step by step. 

Doing things that comfort and clear. 

And bring more ways for me to play.