Thursday, August 29, 2019

Drawing a Blank

I really don’t know what to write about this week. I don’t feel anything profound bubbling up to the surface. Maybe because I’ve already written about one of the most miraculous events in life: birth.

I am so grateful to have 2 healthy, grown children and now 2 healthy, happy grandchildren. I don’t ever take that for granted. I know very well the hills and valleys of childbirth, baby and childhood, adolescence and adulthood. It’s a challenge for each of us, every day. 

Some days are joyous. Some days are not. And some days, maybe most, just fade from sunrise to sunset. Unnoticed. 

I want to notice. 

I want to make sure that somehow, everyday gets my attention. I want to be sure to see the sun, trees and birds. I want to feel the morning air, a kiss or my puppy’s cold nose. I want to hear the water flow in the fountain, sigh of relaxation or even the cry of a hungry baby. And sometimes, even when I need to hear the sound of silence, I want to notice that too.  

As the fan turns slowly above me on this very hot, late summer day, I want to remember the feeling of the air on my skin. I want to notice so I can tuck it away for those cold days when I’m shivering in the wind. 

Silence and noise. 

Last week was filled with beeps and bustle and excitement of a birth, the hospital, flying and driving and finding our way home. It was happily noisy and crowded and a little crazy. 

Now it’s been an opposite week. Unfilled space. Walks under the big fir trees at the park. Cold dinners in the heat. Catching up with all the things I’d left behind. Periods of silence stretched out like a cool blanket for me to rest under. 

And yet, as I rest and catch up, I worry I’m wasting my valuable allotment of life time. But I know in my heart that’s not true. I have packing and deliveries and work in the studio waiting for me. I have grandbaby sitting and doggy playtimes and errands to run.    

Life is so full of stark contrasts. It’s wonderful and crazy and loud and quiet and hard and soft. So maybe, this week, it’s time to celebrate the blank spaces in life.  

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