Showing Up.

  

As an artist and writer, I thrive on quiet. Looking out the window. Staring at the sky. Watching the dogwood bloom and the birds fly by. Today, I saw a pair of geese herding a large brood of fuzzy goslings from the grass into the lake at the park. 

These are small, everyday things in and around us all. Things I know we see but maybe, don’t see. Like flowers and leaves and birds, they’re all part of our daily life. But somehow, they stick with me and show up in my studio. 

Flowering. 

When I pick up a lump of clay, I don’t always know what I’m going to make. I’ve made many vases, bowls and plates but in the last year or so something has changed. 

One day, I rolled out clay and out came a face. I wasn’t sure why or what it was going to be, so I set it aside. Another day, I walked into my kitchen and saw a vase of sunflowers. Next thing I knew, this is what appeared in my studio. 

Then, on a walk I collected oak leaves. And this appeared. 

Another day, I bought some poppies. And this showed up.  

On a fall walk, I picked up some of my favorite ginkgo leaves. And this happened. 

And they all seemed to have a ladybug nosing around. I do love ladybugs. 

Now what?

Shelves in my studio began to fill up with flowers and leaves and ladybugs. Some had faces and some were just birds or orchids or tulips. I thought the bigger ones could look nice on a wall. But the squares seemed to need something more. 

But what? 

I finally figured out that a frame was needed. This is definitely not my are of expertise, so I asked for help. My daughter in law had the idea of shadow boxes. My clever husband figured out how to mount and hang them. 

And it all worked! 

Now a few of them are on their way to a local show. 

Who knew that a sunflower, some leaves and a ladybug would show up on a wall?

Taking a deep breath.

 

I realize I’ve been holding my breath for months now. Waiting and waiting and waiting for all of ‘this’ to be over. I know I’m not alone, although it feels like it. I can feel the collective intake every time that ‘someone’ makes a statement which none of us want to hear. It’s like some bad movie which is so bad, it fails at the box office. 

Oh, wait a minute, didn’t ‘hers’ already do that?

Anyway.  Let’s all take a slow breath in and then slowly out.

Breathe.  

No Kings day showed how many of us are on the same page. Over eight million of us. I don’t know about you, but that helps me breathe a little better. 

But what really saves me every day is art. Even though it’s not all fun and games, the process keeps me focused. This week was the stage of working with mud that scares me the most. Why? Because at this stage, there’s no going back. It either works or it doesn’t.

To dip or not to dip. 

When I do functional pieces like cups, bowls, vases, I dip them in a large bucket of mixed glaze. Wipe off the bottoms and let them dry. Then load them in the kiln. 

But this technique doesn’t work well with sculptural or relief pieces. There are lots of edges and crevices and details to glaze around. I thought about painting on layers of glaze, but then again, too much here or there and the piece is ruined. I decided the only way was pouring the glaze over the pieces while spinning them on a small wheel. Then doing touch up. 

Firing with fingers crossed. 

After 2 days of drying time, I loaded each piece carefully into the kiln. Set the cone in the bracket. Propped the lid. Plugged the holes and pushed the switch. And set the timer. While other clay people have kilns with digital timers, I set the timer on my phone.

Once the kiln is on, I’m watching the clock and ready to turn it up every 2 hours. I turn the switch. Lo. Medium. High. And then I wait for it to click off. Even then, I’m still waiting for the kiln to cool off completely before I can open it. All the while I’m sitting there thinking: will the pieces crack? Will the glaze work evenly? Will all my work result in beauty or failure?

It’s completely cool now, outside and inside temperatures match. 

It’s time. 

Holding my breath, I open it up. A big sigh. Luckily all went well. 

My new idea to do relief pieces worked! 

Now, I take a big breath in and a sigh of relief!

The Power of Mud

 

There’s one thing that’s helping me stay sane right now. 

Mud. 

Yup, mud.

Some people call it clay. I buy mine from a local clay company. But the components of clay are found in nature.  According to Wikipedia, “It’s a natural product of the erosion of igneous rocks like granite and feldspar. It breaks down over millions of years into fine particles which collect in riverbeds, lake basins and coastal areas, where they are found as sedimentary deposits.”

So, yeah. It’s mud that’s been washed by rain and eroded by rocks. And it’s now in my studio in a nice, neat plastic bag. And I love opening the bag and slicing off a thick slab of it. Slapping it down, folding it over and kneading it into a ball or rolling it into a slab on my canvas covered board. 

Then the fun begins.

My hands get muddy. My mind climbs into the backseat. And my soul sighs. I can make so many things from one chunk of mud. 

A vase. 

A face. 

A bowl. 

A bird. 

A leaf platter.

These are finished pieces. Piece by piece, they’re rolled and stamped and shaped and painted and dried very slowly. But they all started out as a chunk of mud. So fun. 

Then the work of finishing. 

Today, I did a part of the process that’s my least favorite: glazing.  Why is it my least favorite? I think it’s because it’s all about chemicals and precision: waxing, mixing, testing for the right consistency, dipping, catching drips and wiping. Then there’s the clean up. Ugh. 

There’s also a lot of set up and clean up involved because my studio is inside my house. I have to cover the tables and floor, bring in buckets of water and towels and sponges. It’s work. 

Mud, madness, and sanity. 

Yes, it’s work. But it’s also play. Bringing out my childhood love of playing in the woods in the dirt. And right now, with all the dirt and scandal, the most powerful thing I can do for myself is play in the mud. 

Try it. It might help. And you might find playing in the dirt is more fun than reading about it. 

 

Seeing from the Inside Out

I don’t know where to start writing today. There’s just so much out there right now, my mind and inbox overflows. And one thing I don’t 

want to do is add more fuel to the fire or try to wash it all away. It’s maddening and overwhelming and sad. 

I’m aware. I’m not sticking my head in the sand. I’m just trying to find my own balance. And the only thing that balances it all out for me right now is beauty and art. So I take my walks around the lake and listen to the geese. Watch the ducks swim past me. And, if I’m lucky snatch a glimpse of a heron. 

At home, I crochet because the movement of my fingers in and around yarn soothes my soul. Right now, I’m crocheting red ‘resistance’ hats. Learning to make a tassel was a new process but I did figure it out, finally. The next hat will be better. 

And I doodle and paint and play with clay. This week, when it all got too much, I took out my black pen and let it swirl up, down and around. Then I got out my watercolor pencils and colored the sections in like a coloring book. Another day, I brushed water into each section. Another day, I went over my black lines with more black. It’s nothing. It’s just a doodle. But it gave my mind and soul a safe place to meander for a while. 

Another day, I took out some clay pieces that needed the next step: color. I made these pieces in the last 6 months or so with no agenda in mind. I’ve never made anything like this before. They’re not functional clay pieces. They have no fancy titles or artsy ideas. Maybe I could call them clay doodles? I don’t know. What I do know is they needed color but I wasn’t sure which colors. Again, I had no plan. I just got out my colored underglazes and started painting. 

They will need a clear glaze and firing to be finished. But that’s ok, I think the slow process isn’t just important to the clay.

 It’s important for me, for my mind and my body and my soul. 

To quiet. To rest. To see from the inside out for a change. 

Good

 

Ok. In my last piece the title was, ‘Evil’. There is evil out there, I had to write about it. And I stand by it. 

But.

There is also the ‘Good’. And I think right now, I have to see it and write about it and put it out there because I need the balance just as much right now. I think we all do. 

We need to believe in the Good. 

We need to see the good in the people around us. The good in our family, our friends, our neighbors. Even in our parks, our streets, our schools, our hospitals, our libraries. 

There is a lot of good out there right now. 

Here’s some more on a personal level: my husband was helped by EMT’s, doctors, nurses, lab techs and volunteers. He is well and home and fine, thanks to all of these people. I was helped by family and neighbors and friends who ran errands, walked my dog, cleaned my kitchen, brought us dinner, sparkling water, soup, Kleenex and warm cranberry cake. 

Good people live all around us. All the time. 

They share. They ask how you’re doing and listen. They hold the door open for you.  

They protest. Make signs. Bring wet wipes and food. 

And help you survive the bad. 

They are the good. 

We need to see the good right now. 

So we can all survive the bad.