Bloom

Things are flowering in my studio. I don’t know why. I didn’t make sketches or take pictures or plan or conceptualize designs. 

I got out my clay. Rolled out a slab and set it aside.The next day, I rolled out some more clay and started cutting it up. Leaves appeared. Petals popped up. Why? 

Ok, I do love flowers. I don’t buy big bouquets. Instead, I splurge on one small bunch of flowers every week at Trader Joe’s. Whatever is in season: Sunflowers, Dahlias, Chrysanthemums, Gerbera Daisies. And I get an orchid plant to put behind my sink and baby it until it goes, then I get another one. 

Clay Blooms. 

It never occurred to me to make flowers in clay, but they’re here and they’re growing. I have to wonder again, why? Is there something going on around me I’m not aware of? Some plant or flower fairy waving her magic wand?

I did three in a row and stopped. I thought that was it and that’s fine. 

A clay circle. 

I went into the studio another day,  got out my clay and cut it into a circle. Soon the circle had a nose. Then eyes. And lips. Ok, so I made a face. Not in the way I’ve ever made faces or sculpted clay. But there it was on my board, so I propped it up on top of a yogurt container, covered it and left my studio. 

So, I made this round face. It was an experiment. I’d never made a face or sculpture like that before, so maybe it was just a new challenge. I had no idea beyond just making a more abstract, round face. 

Flowers again. 

The next morning, I was admiring the 4 sunflowers I’d bought at TJ’s that week. Later that day, the face became a Sunflower. Then a ladybug came to rest on the clay. 

Again, no planning, no drawing, no decision. It just happened. 

It was fun. 

Then another flower face or face flower appeared. And more ladybugs. 

My mind shouted: what are you doing? And why? 

I truly don’t know. And maybe I’m not meant to know. 

Maybe there is no why. There’s only what.

Maybe somewhere inside me there was a need. 

After all the doctors and drugs and surgery and pain.

Maybe it’s time for me to trust my body. 

And like a flower: Bloom.  

Rise Above It All

What can you do or I do to lift up ourselves right now?

Rise above it all?

Stay strong and healthy and true?

Health and surgery and recovery are not easy. And they take time. The biggest recovery, I’m discovering is trauma/emotional recovery. I didn’t sign up for any of this, none of us do. It happens. It’s shocking to the core. At first, it takes all you’ve got to get up and deal with the pain.

But, I got up. Walked. Climbed the stairs. My body got stronger. Now, I can do yoga. Lift weights. Carry my 2 year old grandchild. I went back to ‘normal’ life. Or so I thought. But somewhere, in there, is a small scared voice. Will it happen again? Am I really fixed?

The answer: Yes, I am fixed. My body is ‘very healthy’ now according to my PCP. 

Another question: Why then, am I feeling anxious and sad?

Another answer: Because, I’m told, after physical healing comes emotional healing. 

It’s a process. Like life, it’s not always easy. What helps?

One word, one line, one thought at a time.

Art and writing have gotten me through many difficult times: surgery, family abuse and deaths, pandemic fears, job losses and now crazy politics. I journal often because getting my thoughts out on the page helps me release the bad and see the good in my life. 

You don’t have to be a professional writer, like I was at one time, you just have to be honest. Take a pen, some paper and let it all go. Sometimes I use a picture or word to get started. Or you can look out the window, see what catches your eye. Better yet, light a candle, get quiet and listen. Then write it down. No one has to see it or read it but you. You don’t have to keep it either.  

Time for me to show and tell.  

This weekend, I’ll be showing my Lily Vases at “Ceramics Showcase” in the Gallery. Making my Lily vases lifts me up. The feel of the cool clay. Rolling out shapes. Pressing fabric, old earrings, hardware bits into the clay takes focus.

I don’t know why I like making my Lily Vases so much. And I don’t have to know. All I have to do is feel the cool clay and let it help me rise above it all.  

A world where different textures meet

A place where all colors work together 

And individual pieces join

And rise and form a beautiful whole. 

Finding Some Calm in the Storm

 

I don’t want to give in to the vortex of evil swirling around in this country. I’m aware and outraged. It is traumatic. I  understand everyone has their own ways to deal with it and while some are shouting and violent, I have to look for peaceful paths. 

I’ve had a year of physical issues that led to surgery and months of recovery. I’m learning to lean into what is best for my body, heart and mind. Walking in the park has helped me through sickness, surgery and life changes. And it’s helping me now to deal with the mess in the big White House. 

Stay rooted.  

That’s the message from my tree in the woods. As a child, my place of safety and calm was the woods nearby our suburban neighborhood. I sat leaning up against the tree for hours feeling at home and safe under its branches. I still visit ‘my trees’ in our nearby park, leaning in and listening to their wisdom. 

When I come home, I write those words down as a way to guide my day. Sometimes the words are a call to action. Other times, they are words of support and encouragement to keep me going. Right now, I think it’s important for you and me to find ways to stay rooted in truth and integrity. 

Mud.

Even as a child, I knew the power of mud. I’d sit in our yard and dig up the brown earth and hold it in my hands. If I had some water, I’d mix up mud soup. Other times, I’d dig deeper into the dirt where it was cool and firm, squish it between my hands and make mounds of elf houses. 

So it shouldn’t be a surprise that I still play with mud. It wasn’t my first career choice which was a writer in advertising. But my love of art and working with my hands lead me, once again, to mud. Working with clay, learning to throw objects and shape sculptures is my happy place. It just goes to show you, child’s play shows us our way in life. 

Right now, I need something to calm me during this stormy time. Maybe you do too. What did  you do that was ‘child’s play’? What was your happy place? Where did you feel safe?

Maybe it’s time to lean against a tree and ask. 

And find your own calm in the storm. 

  

Thrive Anyway

The past few weeks have been crazy. And I’m convinced that is the intention of this new situation we have with our government. You’ll notice I’m not naming names, political parties or internet barons. Why? Because, names have power and I’m not giving it to them. I know, it’s a shit show. But I’ve decided not waddle into it with them. I believe that’s what they want me/us to do.   

I resist. And I’ve found my own way to fight and some needed inspiration from this poem by Loren Brantz.

“In a time of hate

Love is an act of resistance

In a time of fear

Faith is an act of resistance 

In a time of misinformation

Education is an act of resistance 

In a time of poor leadership

Community is an act of resistance

In a time like this

Joy is an act of resistance

Resist. Resist. Resist.”

• Loryn Brantz

Love.

I’m going to send out love into the world as much as I can. I’m helping my family stay healthy and calm with words of support. I’m taking care of my grandsons and granddaughter by giving them a safe, loving place to have fun. 

Faith.

I’m going to send out faith instead of fear.  We are strong.  Each of us is powerful in our own hearts and our own lives. We will get through and beyond all of this because we believe not just in our rights but also the rights of others. 

Education.

I’m going to help educate myself and others by seeking and sending out facts and good information. Here’s a link to a Substack podcast written by an experienced broadcast journalist. https://miketurner921.substack.com/p/trouble-in-the-newsroom?r=2j4566

Community.

I’m sending appreciation out into the world as much as I can. I’m there to help my neighbors and friends. I’m making and donating crochet hats and scarves to keep people warm. I’m thanking the park workers who clean the bathrooms and trim the trees to keep the park beautiful. I’m wishing every walker I pass by a ‘good morning’ and a smile. 

Joy.

I’m going to continue to create whenever and wherever I can. I will not let fear stop me. I will continue to paint and sculpt and crochet. I will share it with anyone who wants and needs to create joy in their life too. 

This is my resistance. What’s yours?

Waiting

 

Today, I’m waiting. I know we all spend a lot of our time waiting. Waiting in lines. Waiting in traffic. Waiting for appointments. Waiting even longer on the phone to make appointments. 

I’m also always waiting on Mother Nature. Clay needs to take its time to dry, to be bisque fired and color added. Then another layer of color is added and another firing. 

Now, I have new ceramic pieces that need to be glaze fired to be finished. But outside the temperature today will be in the 90’s and I don’t need to create any more heat. So I’m waiting. I’ve really had enough heat for the summer, I’m ready for fall. 

Falling leaves and changing colors. 

My hydrangeas are already changing color. The beautiful blues and purples are slowly fading and this year, I’m not sure if they’ll turn that lovely shade of burgundy or fade to white. But right now, I’m enjoying them in their blue/purple loveliness along with the last of my roses. 

I used to hate fall. It meant back to school with lessons and homework. But now, I look forward to the cooler weather and falling leaves. Every year, I wait for a few trees in the park to drop their gorgeous big leaves. I pick them up carefully and take them back to my studio. 

Art from Mother Nature. 

I take these big beautiful leaves and carefully clean them, smooth them out and layer them underneath damp paper towels. I roll out slabs of white clay, carefully lay out a leaf and roll over it to press the leaf into the clay. As I roll, I press veins, edges and even holes into the clay to get all of the wonderful details that I love so much about these tree leaves. 

After I cut them out, they dry slowly under layers of plastic sheeting so they don’t crack. Once they’re dry enough, I bisque fire them. Then, they are washed with a blue/black underglaze I mix up and fired again. Once that’s done, I can glaze fire them. 

It’s a long process. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned working with clay, it’s worth the wait. 

Waiting is not easy. 

Taking the time to let clay or glaze dry

Mother Nature is more patient 

Each season comes in it’s own time

Something I am still learning