A Quiet Christmas

I didn’t plan it. I didn’t expect it. But sometimes life just takes over whether you want it to or not. And sometimes, it saves your life. 

Ok, here’s the story. I woke up and felt sick. The kind of sick you can’t ignore anymore and believe me, I had become an expert in ignoring it for months. But on this morning, it was not going to let me ignore it anymore. It scared me enough to make me head to the local urgent care. 

Luckily, I was seen right away. The nurse, doctor and tech staff were all patient, good listeners and soon had a diagnosis. I had diverticulitis. Which, I have found out is very common in adults over the age of 40. A prescription for antibiotics was phoned in, a CT scan was scheduled asap and I was sent home. 

Two days later, I went in for a CT scan and the diagnosis was the same: diverticulitis. I was relieved. A course of antibiotics and I would be fine. Right? 

Emergency Hell.

At 5pm that same day, I got a call from the urgent care doctor telling me to go to the Emergency Room ASAP. I was shocked. Stunned. I tried to talk him out of it. He said, “NO, you have to go to the hospital. NOW.”

So, in a panic, my husband drove to St. Vincent’s. We checked into the emergency room. We found a bench and waited for two hours. Just as we were getting up to leave, they called us into an emergency room.

Next thing I knew, I was admitted and taken to the surgical floor. I was told I needed a procedure to drain an abscess in my colon. I was set up with several antibiotic IV. I was terrified. But I had great nurses, who helped me understand what was going on. A young doctor came in and explained what they were going to do. The next day I had a procedure to drain the abscess. By the following day, I was allowed to go home with many instructions.

Cancelling Christmas. 

It was a very hard decision. We had all the presents, food arranged but it was decided with my condition and little  grandchildren with colds that we had to cancel our Christmas Day celebration. I was upset, but I knew it was for the best. 

Instead, my husband and I just hunkered down by the fire. I read, sipped tea and looked at the lovely lighted tree. I talked and video chatted with my kids. Nibbled on holiday cookies brought by a friend. And tried hard to see the bigger picture. 

Goodness and gratefulness.                                                                                                                                                                               

Thank goodness for my husband for doing the heavy lifting: wound care, medicines, groceries, cooking, cleaning and moral support. I’m so grateful for my great kids who took care of the dog and ran grocery errands. I’m grateful for the kind nurses, doctors and imaging staff. I’m grateful so, so grateful to the doctor who insisted I go to the hospital, he probably saved my life. 

Sometimes life throws you a big curve.

Listen to your body. 

Be brave. 

Don’t fight it out of fear. 

Trust it.  And help it heal. 

 

Letting The Light In

 

It’s that time of year when the sun sets early and it gets dark. I admit, I don’t like it. It makes me crave my tea and cookies which I do like, of course. The turning of the earth and the winter season brings many feelings to the surface for all of us. 

This year has brought many challenges from lay offs to fighting for 6 months to get social security and medical benefits. It’s been a scary roller coaster ride but now, thankfully, the dust is settling and my anxiety is easing. 

Small comforts and joys. 

I worried about the Holiday season this year. Would we have to cut back on all the things we usually do? How would we manage gifts and stockings for all? One thing I have come to know is we are not alone this year. Many people are facing a different holiday season: inflation pushing up prices and salaries are down or gone. 

I wasn’t looking forward to decorating at all. But here’s what I found out: I can still feel comfort and joy. 

The wreath I made years ago, still looks joyful on the hall table. 

The Christmas books we’ve read to our children and now grandchildren are still fun to share. 

The stockings have grown to include new babies and spouses. 

And this year, we’re filling them with homemade treats and handmade decorations. 

Light and lightening up. 

The lights on the tree give me the boost I need in the darkening afternoon.  Sitting in the nook next to my best friend and husband, I breathe in the light of our love. While some things have changed drastically for us, our relationship has not. 

In fact, right now as I write this blog, he is writing his podcast. We are both healthy and active and creative on our own and together. 

Yes, we have to lighten up our gift giving this year. 

But the light we share is still there.

For each other, for our children, grandchildren and friends. 

What I have to do everyday is remember:

To let it in.