Wave the Day Away.

Hassled? Feeling overwhelmed? Got a case of creative block? Here’s the cure: sit down on a random rock and watch the waves roll in and out and in and out and in again. 

I don’t mean look up every now and then while you play with your phone. I mean put your phone in your pocket, turn it on silent and listen to the breeze. If you have to do something, count the seagulls or the sand dollars. Take pictures of the driftwood. 

Better yet, let your mind drift. 

If you need to talk it out, go ahead and speak to the wind. Ask the crows your questions. Look up at that immense, empty blue sky and feel how small you are in the grand scheme of things that make up this beach, state, country, world and universe. 

Got too much on your plate? Literally? Then put on those shoes or go barefoot and walk it off. Traipse around the pockets of sand drifts. Examine the tufts of sea grass. Wind your way around the incoming waves. Jump over them or wade through them. It really doesn’t matter. Just keep your feet going and learn to follow them, instead of trying to lead. 

Remember: You are only one person among millions.  

You are as small as that speck of sand and almost as plentiful. That said, you are still important. Your life still has meaning. Just as every speck of sand creates a part of the whole beach, you create an important part of the whole world. 

You are needed. You can make a difference if you choose. Choose wisely if you can. If you can’t right now, that’s ok, too. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll feel broken with pieces missing just like the crab shell you pass by.

You can love and be loved. You can be open, helpful and, most importantly, kind. Especially to yourself.

But. You are not. The. Whole.

And isn’t that a relief? 

So today, just wave the day away. 

Creating Acceptance.

Ask someone to tell how they got started as an artist or writer or creative person and they'll tell you about their childhood. Some of the stories are beautiful childhood memories of a great auntie or teacher who saw their talent and helped them along. But most of the stories are memories of being different, feeling like an outsider looking in or failing. Good or bad, these stories aren't really about talent vs inability. They're about acceptance. 

Being seen. 

I love this quote from Art & Fear by David Bayles and Ted Orland:

“Becoming an artist consists of learning to accept yourself, which makes your work personal, and in following your own voice, which makes your work distinctive. Even talent is rarely distinguishable, over the long run, from perseverance and lots of hard work.”

I've spent my life in various stages of duck and cover. There are a lot of reasons for this which I won't go into here, but let's just say one big reason was that if I made myself invisible, I'd be more accepted.

But I was seen anyway. And it always took me by surprise when it happened. There was a little part of me that longed to be seen and a bigger part that wished to be left alone. I liked the quiet and calm and space. I still do. I believe that's what really drew me to writing and art making. 

It is a solitary sport where I get to determine the game plan. It's a safe place where I can accept myself, as I am today, where my voice whispers through the clay.

  

Being heard. 

Another quote I love from Ursula Le Guin:

"One of the functions of art is to give people the words to know their own experience. There are always areas of vast silence in any culture, and part of an artist’s job is to go into those areas and come back from the silence with something to say. It’s one reason why we read poetry, because poets can give us the words we need. When we read good poetry, we often say, ‘Yeah, that’s it. That’s how I feel.'

Sometimes, I forget how important it is for everyone to speak up. Lately in our country, we've been bombarded by voices. Anger. Pain. Threats. Fear. And especially, one loud voice crazy with denial, lies and madness. I get to a point when I just can't listen to any more. Then I realize the louder the voices, the bigger their need to be heard. 

Being accepted. 

As a writer and artist, I love my solitary, calm, studio work. I love to read and listen to music and stare out the window. But I also want my art and words to be seen and heard and accepted. In order to do that, I know I have to open my eyes, ears and heart not just to creation but to all that is created around me. Creating acceptance to the good, the bad, the ugly that I make and you make and all of us makes. 

I figure if I can accept the messes I create. (And I hate messes). I'll be better off and hopefully so will you.

People Are Not For Hurting.

This was and still is my parental mantra. From the time my babies were born, through toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence to adulthood, hitting or hurting with words or hands was not allowed. Ever. I am still passionate about fostering non-violent, peace-loving, resolution oriented living all around me.  

Why? Because I learned first hand about violence and abuse.

I was raised in a climate where bullying was standard behavior. Bullies ruled. Bullies survived. And if you wanted to survive, you were taught to beat up the bully. And so, to become a bully yourself. Yes, I was taught that fighting the bully was the right thing to do.  

Maybe it still is.

I did fight, as my children grew up, to keep them safe. On the school bus. On the playground.  I advocated for a strict no bullying policy. I insisted on a non-violent atmosphere.  I refused to let my children be exposed to violent tv shows, video games, or movies and I monitored their internet use as well. I was the one mom who didn't let my son dress up as a violent cartoon character for Halloween, have a 'toy' gun or play 'war'. I did stand up to the pressure from other parents and society to give in to the pervasive culture of violence.  

Violence is not a game.

It's saddens me to says this, but our society, our culture, our children are surrounded by it each and every day. When I grew up it was war and guns and fist fights on the playground. But now it has mutated and multiplied to invade everyday life.  TV anchors spout expletives. Drivers rage on the way to work. Airline passengers threaten other passengers and flight crews over their political beliefs. And it's not enough to be a bully in person, it's expanded to social media. Kids get bullied on Facebook all the time.  

And soon, there will be a cyber bully in the White House.

Tweeting threats, name calling, posting lies.  

Bragging about abusing women.  

This is classic bully behavior.  

A 'bully' is just another name for a violent, aggressive person who uses intimidation both physical and verbal towards other people. People are afraid of bullies. And bullies use that fear to push other people around, get what they want at all costs. They don't care about anyone or anything but themselves. 

And people, THIS IS OUR PRESIDENT?

No wonder there's more violence in cities and on our streets. People are very afraid and for a very good reason. He bullied his way through his campaign, firing and threatening his staff. He bullied his way through the debates, harassing a female candidate. He bullied the media when facts were reported against his wishes. He bullied people protesting against his election threatening to put them in jail. He is a bully. Plain and simple. But soon, he could become a very dangerous bully. All our lives, our children, our grandchildren are at stake here.  We have everything to lose and he has everything to gain. He is not here to help you. He is here to take as much as he can for himself. As Americans, we have a right and an obligation to stand up against corruption and violence.  

Don't let yourself be bullied.  Stand up.  Now.

People. Are. Not. For. Hurting.

We have to stop. Now. We have to look each other in the eye and see our reflection. See our fears and our dreams and our hopes in each other. Look for the truth, the real truth and value it above all else. See our wishes for freedom and safety and comfort and love.

It's so easy to get sidetracked by fear into greed and violence.

Especially by the bully soon to be President of the United States.

But we the people. You. And Me. We all want the right to pursue happiness. And we can all do it. One by one. Side by side. Working together. United. Standing up for the rights for all.

Next time you see or hear bullying in any shape or form,

Remember the mantra:  People are not for hurting.