Seeing from the Inside Out

I don’t know where to start writing today. There’s just so much out there right now, my mind and inbox overflows. And one thing I don’t 

want to do is add more fuel to the fire or try to wash it all away. It’s maddening and overwhelming and sad. 

I’m aware. I’m not sticking my head in the sand. I’m just trying to find my own balance. And the only thing that balances it all out for me right now is beauty and art. So I take my walks around the lake and listen to the geese. Watch the ducks swim past me. And, if I’m lucky snatch a glimpse of a heron. 

At home, I crochet because the movement of my fingers in and around yarn soothes my soul. Right now, I’m crocheting red ‘resistance’ hats. Learning to make a tassel was a new process but I did figure it out, finally. The next hat will be better. 

And I doodle and paint and play with clay. This week, when it all got too much, I took out my black pen and let it swirl up, down and around. Then I got out my watercolor pencils and colored the sections in like a coloring book. Another day, I brushed water into each section. Another day, I went over my black lines with more black. It’s nothing. It’s just a doodle. But it gave my mind and soul a safe place to meander for a while. 

Another day, I took out some clay pieces that needed the next step: color. I made these pieces in the last 6 months or so with no agenda in mind. I’ve never made anything like this before. They’re not functional clay pieces. They have no fancy titles or artsy ideas. Maybe I could call them clay doodles? I don’t know. What I do know is they needed color but I wasn’t sure which colors. Again, I had no plan. I just got out my colored underglazes and started painting. 

They will need a clear glaze and firing to be finished. But that’s ok, I think the slow process isn’t just important to the clay. It’s important for me, for my mind and my body and my soul. To quiet. To rest. To see from the inside out for a change.