Looking for Life

It’s a bright, sunny day here in Oregon which is something to celebrate. Our weather is typically cloudy and cool with maybe some rain. Climate change has changed it up in the last few years but I’m still a true Oregonian. When it rains, I smile. 

Sigh. I’d like to be smiling right now. How about you? It seems all around us there are dark clouds gathering. Anger rising. Threats to our lives and security. A crazy maniac in the big White House who is followed by crooks interested in stealing money and selling secrets. 

It’s overwhelming at times. And I don’t know about you, but I refuse to get mired in the muck. 

Pulling myself up and out. 

One way I’ve managed to save my creative soul and spirit is to get out into nature. Walking isn’t just about exercise, it’s about moving my body, mind and soul into the real world of nature. Trees and birds and squirrels who live in peaceful contentment rooted in the earth around them. Thankfully, I have a beautiful park in my neighborhood to walk around everyday. 

Hearing the kids play on the swings. 

Seeing the Heron floating in the water. 

Looking down at an oak leaf and thinking of how I could form it in clay. 

Breathe in life. Real life. 

Step by step around the lake I go, watching and hearing and hoping. I smile at the people walking by me. Heal in my dog to let them pass. And hope, no matter what new craziness happens in our country today, that they are ok. That we are all safe. That all of our days get better. That this craziness will end peacefully and safely. 

Let’s all take a deep breath together. 

Breathe in beauty.

Breathe in love.

Breathe in life. 

We will get through this.

By looking for life and beauty all around us. 

 

Let’s pull the weeds and flower.

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. I usually write almost everyday in my journal or notes. But lately, all I’ve been doing is sitting and scrolling and staring at the unbelievable insanity out there. 

When it got to be too much, I started cleaning. I’ve dusted and vacuumed and washed from top to bottom. Window blinds, ceiling fans, inside cupboards and closets, chairs and couches. I washed throws and blankets and pillows and curtains. Then I looked outside and started pulling weeds. Tall weeds. Small weeds. Itsy bitsy weeds that I would normally ignore because I hate weeding. Out with it all. 

The dirt and weeds had to go. So the flowers could grow. 

Hmm. Perhaps there’s a metaphor here? 

With all those evil, stupid bullies in Washington, it feels like time has slipped backwards. I thought as a woman who fought for my rights once, I was done. 

Nope. Obviously, there’s more to do. 

What are we learning here? That bullies win? That greed wins? That stupid wins?

I know it looks like that but I think there’s more to it. Perhaps, we’re using the wrong tools. We’re using the understanding, logical, problem solving, let’s get along tools. When we need to use the heavy duty, no you don’t tools to clean it all out. 

Anyone else doing what these bullies have done, would be arrested and in jail by now. Where are our judges? Our Congress? Our Senate? Our Generals? 

I wonder. 

Where is the nation that I know and love? The people who help people? The elected ones who promoted education, health, safety and jobs for all? Equality for everyone. No one left behind. Everyone allowed to flower and grow. 

I don’t understand the anger of the right, thinking they’re right. Or the Greed Gang who want it all for themselves. Because when no one is left out, even them, everyone moves forward together. Maybe I’m naive but it seems to me to be a pretty simple way to go. You go your way, I’ll go mine. Choice is still there for everyone.

That’s the word: choice. 

What do you need?

What do you want?

If you don’t like something, fine. That’s your choice. 

But you don’t get the right to choose for me.  

Let’s all make our own choices, 

And learn to pull the weeds, so we can flower and grow together. 

 

Lessons Learned

 I’ve done a lot of different kinds of art over the years. Painting in watercolor, acrylics, oil and pastel. Fiber art including beaded embroidery, quilting and crochet. Clay sculpture. Copper repousse. Mixed media boxes that included clay, copper repousse and a story I wrote. 

In the last 10 years, I’ve been making functional clay cups, bowls, plates and vases. But sculpture snuck in, too. 

I’m either very versatile or I have a very short attention span. I’m not sure. One thing I do know: I like to try new things. Oh, I may argue with myself or someone else about that because learning does take time and can be very frustrating. Somehow, I do it anyway. 

Maybe the truth is simple: I like to learn. 

I failed at clay in high school so when someone tried to give me a wheel, I said no. They insisted and loaded up a truck with a wheel and a kiln. It was such an amazing gift, I could not turn down  that kind of generosity. Even as it scared me. But, maybe, it was a sign?

At the time, my husband was between jobs and we had college age children at home. My focus was on survival and making money. At the time, I was teaching after school art classes across town. I was never sure how many would sign up but that fall, exactly enough children signed up to pay for one term of clay classes at my local recreation center. So I took the fall class. My husband got a new job and I was able to continue taking the clay classes in handbuilding and throwing. Yes, I finally learned to throw. 

But the biggest lesson I learned, was that I was left handed. As a child, I’d been told to say I was ambidextrous but now I know that was old school speak for left handed. The truth is, I can use both hands but not for all things. Somethings my right hand likes and somethings my left hand likes. I’m still learning their preferences. 

See there’s always more to learn.

The question for me right now? What to learn next? Right now, I’m learning to crochet Christmas Stockings from a pattern. I’ve been doing crochet for years, but I never used patterns much, I usually make up my own. But these are not just for me but for a local women and children center, so I want them to be right. Right? 

I’m also trying to learn how to combine sculptural clay elements on a base with a watercolor technique using underglazes. Will it work? I don’t know. Will I be able to show or sell them? I don’t know. 

But not knowing is what learning is all about. And maybe that’s the most important lesson of all.

Rise Above It All

What can you do or I do to lift up ourselves right now?

Rise above it all?

Stay strong and healthy and true?

Health and surgery and recovery are not easy. And they take time. The biggest recovery, I’m discovering is trauma/emotional recovery. I didn’t sign up for any of this, none of us do. It happens. It’s shocking to the core. At first, it takes all you’ve got to get up and deal with the pain.

But, I got up. Walked. Climbed the stairs. My body got stronger. Now, I can do yoga. Lift weights. Carry my 2 year old grandchild. I went back to ‘normal’ life. Or so I thought. But somewhere, in there, is a small scared voice. Will it happen again? Am I really fixed?

The answer: Yes, I am fixed. My body is ‘very healthy’ now according to my PCP. 

Another question: Why then, am I feeling anxious and sad?

Another answer: Because, I’m told, after physical healing comes emotional healing. 

It’s a process. Like life, it’s not always easy. What helps?

One word, one line, one thought at a time.

Art and writing have gotten me through many difficult times: surgery, family abuse and deaths, pandemic fears, job losses and now crazy politics. I journal often because getting my thoughts out on the page helps me release the bad and see the good in my life. 

You don’t have to be a professional writer, like I was at one time, you just have to be honest. Take a pen, some paper and let it all go. Sometimes I use a picture or word to get started. Or you can look out the window, see what catches your eye. Better yet, light a candle, get quiet and listen. Then write it down. No one has to see it or read it but you. You don’t have to keep it either.  

Time for me to show and tell.  

This weekend, I’ll be showing my Lily Vases at “Ceramics Showcase” in the Gallery. Making my Lily vases lifts me up. The feel of the cool clay. Rolling out shapes. Pressing fabric, old earrings, hardware bits into the clay takes focus.

I don’t know why I like making my Lily Vases so much. And I don’t have to know. All I have to do is feel the cool clay and let it help me rise above it all.  

A world where different textures meet

A place where all colors work together 

And individual pieces join

And rise and form a beautiful whole. 

Creating Strength and Clarity

 

The bad TV show continues to spew out episodes daily in our country. It’s hard to watch the episodes spin out angry threats and misinformation. I watch and listen and  support the courts and truthful reporting. I have to say upfront, my husband has been a broadcast news reporter for decades and I trust his information.

Trusted sources give me more than information, they give me strength and clarity. I make it a goal to stay out of the chaotic news feeding frenzy. If you want that too, I recommend reading, Turner’s Take here on Substack. https://miketurner921.substack.com/p/hands-off?r=2j4566

Clay and crochet and clarity. 

As an artist, my work gives me a lot of time alone. As I roll and knead and push and pull the clay, my head clears. I let the clay lead me where it wants to go. This week, each piece formed into a bird. One small. One larger. 

I didn’t draw it or design it or force it. The clay moved with my hands and fingers into the shape of a small little bird and a crow. They’re  not finished yet and that’s ok. Wings and details will be added as they dry a bit. But I guess I’m not surprised a crow flew into my studio this week. I do love crows. We have many who nest in our great big fir tree. They fly to the back porch cover to take loud splashing baths. I smile with delight every time.   

Everyday, I crochet. All during my illness and now during this crazy time, I find the rhythm of hook and yarn is like meditation that calms my body and soothes my mind. Lately, I’m making Christmas stockings at the request of a local shelter for women and children. I’ve never made crochet stockings before, so it’s a new creative challenge for me. 

(Ok, I don’t do patterns, I usually wing it. But I’m trying out patterns and using some stash and new yarn.) The one on the bottom left is in progress. 

Creating strength. 

Especially now, with the weak posturing loudly, I look for quiet strength. Senators and judges who use their strength and the law against the lawless. People raising their voices and writing words to protest. 

Here’s what I found out after I formed my birds this week. Birds symbolize freedom, something we are all fighting for right now. And crows are symbols of transformation, wisdom, strength, intelligence and the ability to see beyond the ordinary. 

I don’t know about you, but I need that right now. 

Maybe that’s why I found two more birds I’d done weeks ago and forgotten. 

I need to feel strong and free and see above the headlines.