Season of Change

 

I can’t believe it’s November already. Leaves have fallen. The garden is harvested. And trees, bushes and flowers have been trimmed. Mother Nature is shortening the sunshine getting us all ready for winter. I don’t know if I’m ready, yet. 

I do love the color changes. Hydrangeas turn from bright blue to burgundy as they dry in vases around the house. Leaves float down in shades of bright yellow, gold and red. I always find this season inspiring which leads to different work in the studio. 

Changing leaves. 

It’s this time of year when I can collect my favorite leaves in the park. I admit, I don’t know the species of tree. Maybe it’s a Maple? But I love the shape and size and structure of these leaves. So I carefully collect them and carry them home putting them under light plastic covers to keep them fresh. 

In the studio, I roll out my favorite clay and carefully imprint each leaf on it. Then, I draw through the clay following the leaf shape and place each one on the shelf to slowly dry. 

What starts out as leaf and clay ends as a finished porcelain plate or platter in shades of gray or burgundy. 

Changing life. 

My husband and I are into a new life phase many call ‘retirement’. I don’t like the word because it implies we are not doing anything but sitting around. And it’s definitely not true for us. 

We may not be working 9-5 but we are both still active and productive. We are both taking care of our grandchildren several times a week. We walk every day and we are both producing creative work. 

He’s busy writing and producing new podcasts on Substack. 

I’m busy in the studio making sculptures, leaves and lily vases. And selling my work in a new local gallery. 

Like the seasons, life changes. 

And while somethings fall away, 

Other things can bloom and grow. 

We can’t stop time from flying, 

But we can enjoy the flight. 

Making and Baking and Moving On

It’s foggy outside making it hard to see the partial solar eclipse but that’s ok. Walking through the park, I can admire it anyway. I love the soft blurry light along side the crisp crescent edges. The park is quiet, even the ducks are silent. It’s calm and cozy beautiful. 

And I realize, as I walk along with Michael and Darby, that it’s all good. It’s a surprising feeling after all the unwanted change, grief, fear and frustration of the last 7 months. But somehow, like the fog, a sense of softness and serenity has enveloped me. Quietly.  Slowly. And without my conscious thought, I’m stepping into a new life. 

Making.

I’m a maker and a dreamer who sees things not just with my eyes, but with my hands. I love color and texture and words. I don’t always know what I’m doing but I do it anyway. I started out painting in watercolor when I was 16 and I fell in love with its flow and softness. Wet into wet watercolor is just so juicy and pure. 

Lately, I’ve been experimenting with using watercolor techniques on clay. I’m not quite there, yet, but I’m enjoying the process. Here’s what came out of the kiln this week. 

I’ve also been playing with small clay animals and angels. Maybe it’s the young grandchildren who fill my life right now that’s inspired these colorful characters. I’m not sure and I don’t think it really matters. They’re fun to make and isn’t that the goal?

Baking.  

It’s that time of year, cool and foggy, when I just love to bake. One of my favorites are Macaroon cookies. But now with all fall weather and misty mornings, I’m craving pumpkin bread. 

Baking up a loaf or two fills my kitchen with warm aromas and my heart with comfort. And what could be better than a warm slice right out of the oven with a freshly brewed cup of tea. 

Moving On.

Life changes and it changes us as well. I’ll admit I struggle with change, even when it’s a good change. My body and mind quiver with anxiety. I lose sleep. Sometimes I gain weight, sometimes I lose weight. And I know we‘ve all been through a lot of changes in the past three years, so you might be going through some of these feelings, too. 

Somehow, like the seasons, I’ve moved onward. It happened so slowly I didn’t even see it. But I feel it now. 

There’s a soft, quietness inside and around me

Wrapping around me like a warm sweater

I’m ok now, it’s saying

Breathe in, smell the fresh pumpkin bread baking

Sip your tea with a happy sigh. 

FOMO and BTDT

I realize I’ve been living too much in the online world lately. Watching posts about art events, art sales, art awards, gallery shows, I get sucked into the comparison vortex. And, let’s face it, that’s exactly what social media sites do to us all. And what does it cause? Anxiety. Stress. 

Ok, sometimes it’s great news for everyone. But we all know that’s few and far between. And while I post along with everyone, I try to keep an eye out for things that might be hard for others to see. But since I don’t know what’s going on in everyone’s life, something I might post could cause bad feelings, too, even if my intentions and yours are good. 

FOMO

Fear Of Missing Out is a common social media side effect for everyone. We see others on European vacations, getting awards, selling their art, even adding to their families. What do we do? Compare. Usually not favorably. 

Due to the recent roller coaster of life changes, I’ve chosen to stick close to home base. I took the summer off from the studio. I needed to cocoon and absorb and recharge. I did a lot of reading, walking, cleaning, clay and crocheting. And it was good. 

But I’ve been feeling FOMO lately. I see all the posts about Open Studios and Art Events coming up this fall that I’ll be missing. I’ve done many of those things in my art life: Open Studios, Gallery shows and group sales. Even though I had good reasons for not getting involved this year, some things, I miss. And some, not. 

BTDT

When I was in my 30’s, I did a monthly Gallery Gawk with three other women. Two were the age I am now and one of the things they seemed to constantly say is: Been There, Done That. I remember thinking, ok. Good for you, but I haven’t been there or done that yet. I hoped I would someday. 

And I did. I got to do those things I hoped for and more. And now what do I find myself saying? You got it. Been There. Done That. 

Some things I enjoyed. Some things I didn’t. I loved showing in galleries. Open studios was fun. Big group sales with all the hauling, set up and tear down, not so much. So the real question is: what do I want to do now? 

And with all the life changes, I’m not sure. 

What I do know: I love to create. 

I love clay and color and texture. 

I love making things. 

And seeing those things enjoyed by art lovers. 

So whether I’ve BTDT or am feeling FOMO, I’m going to keep making things. 

From small figures to pumpkin bread to crochet blankets to watercolor on clay.

Because I’m a maker. 

And Makers make. 

A New Season

 

It’s not officially Fall, but it feels like it. The breeze is cool. There are clouds in the sky and the temperatures are comfortable, finally. Taking a deep breath in and out, I’m savoring the change.  

It’s been a long, very hot summer and I’m glad to be done with it.

I was overwhelmed with life’s unexpected changes. My husband was laid off. I lost my medical coverage as a result and it took 6 months of bureaucratic nightmares for me to finally get healthcare coverage. All of this caused a lot of anxiety: sleepless nights, weight loss, emotional turmoil. I needed to find some ways to cope with it all. 

So in June, I declared I was taking the summer off. I needed a break physically and emotionally. I read a lot of silly romance novels and mysteries with my feet up resting and repairing my knee. And I did the 3 C’s: clay, crochet and cleaning as much as the very hot weather would allow. 

Dogs, cats, bunnies and fairies. Oh my. 

I didn’t have a plan. I just knew that wedging, rolling and throwing clay helped a little. Even when I was overwhelmed and angry, I made myself put my hands in clay. In the studio, I rolled out cats, dogs, bunnies and little fairies. I let the clay lead me into a safe space away from the stress and fear. 

And these small sculptures just started to appear and multiply. I’ve never made anything like them. But they made me smile and that was enough. So I just kept making them and a few months later, I have dozens. Almost enough to fill my kiln!

Welcoming new feelings and a new season. 

Today, it’s cloudy with a light, cool breeze. Just the right weather to fire up my kiln. It’s been so long since I’ve loaded it up and the biggest surprise was it was filled with new work! Dozens of little animals, some bowls and little plates I made with my granddaughter too. 

My anxiety is easing. The cooler weather is giving me an appetite again. We’re getting over the sadness and shock of our unexpected loss and life change. And embracing a new kind of life we’re both creating together. 

Sometimes life throws you into the unknown 

Floundering in the dark and fear

But then, slowly, the light gets in

A new season gives way to new life

Fall into it. 

Leaning into Life

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that life has thrown the unexpected my way. Again. It’s been time filled with grief and anxiety. Yet, even with all the changes and bureaucratic nightmares, there are moments of fun and peace. 

Right now, I’m writing by the window. Looking out at a sunny day with a slight cool breeze lifting me up. 

Fun with mud. 

This week, I got out my clay and played. I rolled and stamped. I slipped and joined. I cut new shapes with tiny cookie cutters. Voila! New flower fairies or are they flower angels? I’m not sure yet. That’s ok. What really matters is I had my hands in mud. And it was fun.

The next day, I threw some more mud. I wedged up some porcelain, sat down at my wheel and threw a few bowls. The most wonderful thing about it: I didn’t think. I didn’t worry. I didn’t have any expectations. I just slapped that clay down and the next thing I knew I had 2 bowls. When finished one will be bowl for baby Madden, like the ones I made for Meyer and Cieran. 

Life is a roller coaster. 

I’ve said this before, I know. But it’s so true. What’s also true, I hate roller coasters! And I think we’d all agree, with Covid, supply chain issues, global weather disasters and layoffs, we want off this roller coaster! Now. 

But, it doesn’t work that way, does it? 

So what can you do? Hang on and lean in. 

I’ve been hanging on with books and walks and clay. I’ve been leaning in with family and friends and furry four footers. I’m only a few weeks away from having my medical coverage, so I can lean out a little into the world, soon. 

I don’t know what is going to happen next. 

And that’s a little scary, especially after the last 3 years.

But I’m going to try something new,

Leaning in to life.  

And hoping for good things. 

August Already

 

A few months ago, I decided to take the summer off. So many things had changed that turned my life upside down. I needed time and space. I needed to let go of my old routine in order to figure out a new one.

At the beginning of all these unexpected life changes, I had a hard time. I wasn’t eating or sleeping or feeling very well. One of the biggest stresses was having my healthcare taken away with no warning. It pushed my anxiety through the roof. I had a hard time feeling safe to leave the house or spend time with friends. I had to learn to manage my anxiety by first accepting it and then working to find ways to ease it. 

I don’t know if I’m completely there yet, but I did find ways to help myself. I wrote about the three C’s: Clay, Crochet and Cleaning. These things plus a few others that help me are simple: walking in the park with my husband and darling Darby, reading books, cutting flowers and taking care of my grand babies. 

Walking. 

I’m very lucky to live close to a wonderful park filled with wildlife, green spaces, play spaces for children and adults. You might think that walking in the same park everyday would be boring but it’s not.

Everyday there’s something new to see: blackberries are out, young geese are learning to fly,  kids are laughing, Darby is sniffing and my grand baby is sleeping peacefully. 

Clay and Crochet. 

I found years ago that working with my hands was calming. Giving my body movement, gives my anxious mind a rest. The biggest plus, it’s fun too! 

So far, I’ve made crochet blankets in mint green, purple, pink, yellow, midnight blue and white. I’m working on a new one in peach. I love to crochet and am so glad my family loves their soft throws.

I’ve also been busy making new clay animals and fairies. I’ve done sculpture for decades, but right now, I needed something small and fun. These kitties, doggies, birds and fairies seem to be filling up my studio shelves. I’m hoping the hot weather will ease, so I can fire them soon. 

Beautiful Babies. 

I never thought I’d be one of ‘those’ grandmas. You know the ones who can’t stop bragging about their grandchildren. But, it’s official, I am. They call me ‘Gram’ after my Gram whom I loved dearly. My only hope is to pass on the love to the next generation. That said, here are some pics whether you want them or not. 

Anxiety is not a fun place to live. 

I knew it was up to me

To find my way out:

Walking, crocheting, playing with clay

And best of all, baby kisses and hugs.