Art and Ageism

 

The sun is shining. There’s a cool breeze keeping the day light and comfortable. It’s a perfect summer day, really, so why do I feel unsettled? Why am I looking up and around with a wondering, worried, wandering feeling?

Because my life has changed. So has yours, I’m sure. It happened to all of us over the last 4 years with covid and closures. Add a flooded house, reconstruction and then, job loss and no health insurance. Even though I qualify for Medicare and filed for it, it’s been 3 months and I’m still waiting for Medicare Part B due to a corporate screw up and a slow government system. 

It’s scary. And I know, I’m not alone. 

Boomers are older now. 

There’s a word everyone likes to use to describe my husband and I: retired. We’re supposed to be happy about it. It’s supposed to be a release from the drudgery of 9 to 5 work. But what if you loved your work? What if that was your interest, your creativity, your calling? And now, because you are a ‘certain’ age, you’re not supposed to be doing it anymore. 

Is that fair? Or right? Or good? That someone, somewhere gets to decide you’re done?

Nope. Not at all. It’s ageist. If you like the job and can do the job, you should be able to do it as long as you want. I’m not alone in thinking this, there are articles everywhere about men and women in their 80’s and beyond who want to keep working and many still are. 

Here’s another funny thing: as boomers are being forced out of the workplace, there’s no one to replace them. Other adults decades younger are not filling those jobs. Companies are searching for workers and not finding them. 

If you want to hear an interview about ageism, here’s a link to a podcast by Mike Turner:

https://sites.libsyn.com/468780/this-chair-rocks

This Chair Rocks

"This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism" author Ashton Applewhite talks about about her battles with Ageism and what can be done to stop the discrimination.

I’m not retired. And I’m not going to retire. 

As an artist, I am my own employer and employee. I get to decide what I do or don’t do. I’ll admit that can be a heavy responsibility. I’ve been a lot of places with my art over the last 20 years: gallery shows, sculpture shows, pottery shows, open studios, online shows and shops. During the pandemic, I worked hard to figure out new products to make and places to sell them. Overall, I’ve done pretty well. 

Now, I’m looking at my work from a different point of view. Instead of making what I think will sell, I want to go back to making what wants to be made. That’s how I started out. I had no finished product in mind. I didn’t think about marketing. I just picked up my paintbrush, copper, fabric or clay and worked. In the process, something emerged and I followed it. 

Somewhere along the way, I decided to lead instead of follow. I was still creating but I see that selling more became the focus. Product over process. But things are shifting again in my body, mind and soul. I’m not sure what this means or where exactly it will go.

I’m sitting here watching the clouds shift and move. 

And that’s normal and natural. 

Just like the clouds, my life is shifting and moving too. 

Time to be a little like a dragon. 

Time to be brave and fly in new directions. 

Hello July!

I can’t believe summer is rolling by quite so fast. Roses are blooming. Tomatoes and zucchini  are ripening. And the smell of lavender out in the yard fills the air. It is luscious.  

To add more summer fun, our neighborhood had a small 4th of July parade. When my children were little we had a big parade complete with a Mom flag drill team, Dads with lawnmowers, kids with decorated bikes and wagons. And the local fire department truck leading the way. This year, new neighbors put together a short parade with a firetruck too! It was so fun to see my ‘kids’ and grandkids having fun marching through the neighborhood once again. 

Madden Mondays and Meyer Friday. 

Every Monday, little Madden comes to play with us. He goes for a walk around the lake while he naps. He rolls on his blanket, grabs his toys and giggles. He takes his bottle and plays some more and naps. He’s a delightful, little guy.

I used to watch my granddaughter, Meyer on Mondays until she started kindergarten. I loved it. And Meyer and I had some wonderful times: baking muffins, playing with play dough and painting in the studio. This last week, we had 2 days to play! We went to the park. And played in the studio with real clay making plates from porcelain clay. So much fun!

Slow clay. 

I said I was taking the summer off so I didn’t set up any expectations for my studio work. I let go of my old routines and process. Things sat. And I didn’t do much of anything for awhile. 

But a strange thing began to happen: small animals started showing up on my studio shelves. Little flower characters popped up. And a few penguins waddled in to visit. 

I just went in to play around and now, look what I found!

Life is full of surprises. Some good. Some not. One thing I’m learning is to let the feelings flow and take the time I need to take care of myself. Reading and resting. Walking a bit slower while my knee heals. And letting the clay play itself out into whatever form it wants. 

Taking the summer off isn’t what I’d thought it would be. 

It’s not boring or lifeless

It’s calm and restful. 

And surprisingly creative and fun. 

Looking Out The Window

 

Lately, a big part of my summer off, is looking out the window. Sitting on the window seat, I have a wonderful view of the sky, clouds and hills. Whether it’s afternoon or sunset, there is always something new to see. But maybe that’s just me. 

I’ve always been inspired by landscapes. The colors of the sky from clear cerulean blue to stormy thalo blue during the day to the deep cadmium yellow and crimsons of the setting sun. These inspirations got me started painting watercolor landscapes in my teens. And now, I’m circling back again and experimenting painting on clay. 

Summer reading 

As a child, I spent hours parked on my neighbors patio reading stacks of books from the library. Mysteries, historical fiction and love stories were my favorites. This summer, I’m either regressing or progressing into my new phase of life by sitting on my patio or window seat reading. 

I’d like to tell you that I’m inclined toward intellectual improvement but, that isn’t the case. What am I reading? Romance novels and mysteries with happy endings. People fall in love. Bad guys or gals are caught. And the world is a better place. 

The three C’s. 

Due to a recent knee injury, I’ve had to slow down, pace myself and give my goals a rest. I’m still able to crochet. But heavy duty cleaning is on the back burner for now. 

Clay can be done, if I’m careful. Even though I love throwing, I haven’t done much throwing this year. But this week, I did throw a few new bowls. It felt good to get my hands around some clay. Even though I was a bit rusty and had to be patient with myself, it was worth it. 

But I’m wondering if my art and attention is shifting and evolving. Will I move from functional to more sculptural and painterly objects? Is this just a summer phase? Or is it a new life phase called retirement? 

I hate the word retirement. It brings up images of old people in rocking chairs with nothing to do but sit. It brings up so many feelings: sadness, anger, fear. But does it have to be that way? Is that reality or just societal stereotyping or my own prejudice?  I don’t know. 

I do know:

I’m here and safe and healthy.

I still love color and texture and creating. 

And I’m lucky to be loved by family and friends. 

Looking out the window, I see beauty and possibilities. 

I know, I’m not done yet. 

Clearing and Experimenting

 

Taking the summer off isn’t all play and that’s a good thing for me. With all the life changes flowing my way, having things to do and feeling productive is grounding. The key to doing this without stressing myself out is space and pace. 

Clay, crochet and cleaning are on my summertime agenda. But instead of pushing and striving and making lists, I’m leaning into them softly. 

New clay. 

I wanted to try out some new clay options for small to medium sculptures. The first option did work but I wasn’t a fan of working with it. Then I got a sample of some new clay from another clay artist to try. This was a porcelain sculpture clay. It’s white, smooth and lovely.

It rolled out well. I liked working with it and the small figures seem to dry well. I didn’t have enough clay to try a larger piece, so I’m not sure how it would work out. But it was fun to play with a new clay. And to fire my kiln with some new landscape and sculpture pieces. 

Calming with crochet. 

Ok, I think I’m finally hitting that stage: Gram is making baby blankets. I taught myself to crochet about 20 years ago and focused on Freeform crochet, lacy angora scarves and felting. It’s always been fun, creative and calming. 

Now with 3 grandchildren and a need to ease my stress, I’ve been making throws and crib blankets from craft store yarn. It’s easy. The super soft yarn is not expensive. And there’s no complicated pattern, just chain and crochet until it’s as big as I want it to be.  

One slat at a time.

When we built our home 30 years ago, we had 9 custom wood blinds installed in the downstairs. It was a big expense then and an even bigger expense now. Before the downstairs flood, I looked into updating and replacing the blinds. But because of our back door configuration, the more up-to-date 2” blinds wouldn’t work. 

After all the demolition and reconstruction, the original wood blinds were filthy. There was only one way to get them clean: swifter dusters and Murphy’s Oil Soap. After dusting, I wiped across and under each and every slat. The kitchen sink was the biggest challenge. The only way to do it was to climb onto the counter and maneuver myself behind the sink. 

Releasing the old dust of the past, cleared my mind,

Crochet softened my heart, 

And new clay opened up places for new ideas. 

Isn’t that what Summer is for?

Taking the Summer Off

 

As an artist and mother, I’ve always worked year round with an occasional family vacation. And believe me I full intended to keep on, keeping on regardless of the changes in my life. In fact, I can get very stubborn about sticking to my work schedule which I’ve developed over the last 20 years. 

But now, I just can’t. 

Life changes and losses have hit me hard, leaving me feeling overwhelmed. Unresolved grief is sapping my energy. The more I fight it, the harder it is. Finally, I figured out forcing myself to keep marching ahead is just not working. 

Time to chill. 

As the traditional school year winds down, I started to remember my childhood summers. I biked to the woods and rested under trees. I read outside on the neighbors covered patio. I splashed in the community pool and played hide and seek after dinner until it got dark. 

I think the key words here: Play and Rest. 

While I love creating in clay and paint and glaze, my goal is to make work that sells. And I’ve been showing and selling my work for over 20 years now. Yes, my work has changed and so have I. When mentioned that to a fellow artist, she said that art is supposed to evolve. I felt a weight lifted. 

A balance of work and play and rest. Yes. 

There’s always something that needs to be done, but do I have to do it right now? Probably not. And has my creative work become less fun? Probably yes, because it’s become work. With all the life changes of the past 3 years, I’m exhausted.  I need time to feel the losses. Feel the sadness and tiredness. Find ways to heal and fill my soul again. 

And as much as I want to feel better fast, the more I push, the worse it gets. I can feel that what I need to feel better is to stop pushing myself. I need to slow down. But I know myself and doing nothing is not the way out either. 

The other day, the 3 C’s came to me. Three things I can do: crochet, clay and cleaning. Crochet is easy and comforting. Clay, now for play only, helps to feed my soul. And cleaning helps to clear my mind and my home of cobwebs. 

A summer to rest. 

Let myself live easier. 

Breath by breath. Step by step. 

Doing things that comfort and clear. 

And bring more ways for me to play. 

Show and Tell

 

Last weekend, I was a small part of a very big show at the Oregon Convention Center. The Oregon Potters Association Ceramic Showcase has been helping clay artists sell their work for 40 years. I am glad and grateful to be able to show and sell my work in this show. 

Before I ever threw a bowl, built a vase or made a mask, I went to this show. I remember being in one of their very first shows at the World Forestry Center with my husband and baby. I walked around marveling at all the wonderful work. I never imagined I’d ever make anything out of clay, much less be part of a ceramics show. 

Art, like life, evolves. 

As a teenager, I rebelled against more math classes and decided to take an art class. I liked it. Even though I wasn’t very good at it, I kept going: drawing, calligraphy and watercolor. The first class I took in clay was a total failure. 

I took more classes as an adult in painting, pastel and fiber art. I made masks out of window screening and clay. I showed mixed media work in copper and clay. Then one day, a very kind man, gave me his kiln and wheel. Several years of classes later, I was throwing bowls and mugs and firing vases and sculptures. 

Thirty years later, I’m showing my ceramic work as a member of the group that inspired me. The Oregon Potters Association. 

Keep on keeping on. 

It’s easy to give up. I know. There have been many times when no matter how hard I worked, things just didn’t work out. But(ok you knew there’d be a ‘but’) I have a stubborn streak or dumb luck, that kicks me into gear. And I keep going and sometimes get a chance to turn my failures around. 

Packing up for the show took days. Setting up and taking down took hours. I did my work shifts and had some wonderful and fun conversations with other artists. Hearing their stories helped me see the process of art and life can be both bumpy and beautiful. 

 

Show set up and take down is a work out. 

But getting myself out there is worth it. 

Not just for the sales, 

But to hear other artists tell their art stories.