February Love Stories

 Happy February!  This month, with Valentines Day, I’m going to focus a few blogs on love. Not the romantic kind of love that our commercial culture focuses on but all the other ‘loves’ in life. Animals. Nature. Activities. Creativity. 

I want to remind myself, this February, of everything that makes my heart happy, my soul refreshed and my body healthy. 

My first love story is about my dog, Darby. 

A few years back, I applied to adopt a Career Change Guide Dog. I’ve loved and trained many dogs in my lifetime and my last sweet dog was my first Career Changer. She was not a pet, she was my pal. Wherever I went, so did she. When she died after a long, loving life I was bereft. 

Finally, after many months, I applied to Guide Dogs for the Blind to adopt another Career Changer. I filled out the application. I interviewed over the phone. And I waited. After 9 long months, I drove out to the Guide Dog campus to see if I was the right fit to be this Career Changer’s new person. 

It was love at first sight. 

He was beautiful. But it was his warm, sweet brown eyes and slightly lopsided ear that captured my heart. I couldn’t wait to take him home. I had a new bed. New bones. New collar and leash all ready for him. I wanted him to be as comfortable with me as he had been with his puppy raiser. 

I can’t believe it’s been 3 years already! Darby is so much fun. He is also silly. Sweet. Playful. Exuberant. And yes, a little mischievous. And I love all of it.

He loves to run and chase balls but he doesn’t always love to bring them back. He’s a big chewer, so his toys need to be extra tough. He loves his daily walk around the lake and park. 

When someone he loves is coming home, he knows before I do. I know now, when he gets up and goes to the door and back to me that someone is on their way. He greets everyone he meets with joyous, bouncy enthusiasm. Sometimes, a little too much, but that’s my Darby. 

Great thanks. 

I can’t begin to count all the ways I thank my sweet Darby’s Guide Dog Puppy Raiser. This woman took a young puppy into her home and heart. She lovingly cuddled, petted, fed and played with him. She taught him to sit and stay and lie down and walk on a leash. She worked with him to learn to be the eyes for someone else. 

And even though he didn’t make it through all the rigorous tests to become a guide dog, he learned from her, the most important lesson: love.  

I want her to know how much I love her sweet, black lab puppy. How everyday I wake up to his sweet face and puppy kisses. And how grateful I am for all her loving care and training that shaped Darby into the sweet, adorable combo of: Tigger from Pooh and Scooby doo. 

That is why I love my Darling Darby(doodle doo).

  

Grateful

Three years ago, I got the call I’d been waiting, hoping and wishing would come. Guide Dogs for the Blind had a career changer dog for me! And I couldn’t wait to meet him. 

It was love at first sight.

At 18 months old, Darby was charming and beautiful. His slightly lower ear, which GDB pointed out to me, made him even more adorable. He had his issues as all the career changers do. But nothing, I knew, that we couldn’t handle together. 

A mix of Scooby-Doo and Tigger too. 

Even at four years old, Darby is bouncy and trouncey and full of fun. He loves to chase balls but his favorite is to jump up to catch them. He walks through the park with bounce in his step, greeting dogs he knows with a playful bark. 

Greeting new friends or family at the door is one of his biggest thrills and challenges. He has a lovely, deep bark which always makes me smile (and feel very protected). Ok, he tends to rush new arrivals with an eagerness that can be overwhelming. But we have worked out a system to help him greet friends with a little less physical enthusiasm. (Hint: beef jerky treats work wonders)

Studio master. 

Whether I’m throwing on the wheel in the garage or slab building in the studio, Darby is there. He watches from his bed as I set up my work. Then once he’s confident I’m in the zone, he takes a nap. But he never zones out. 

Any movement toward the studio or side door and he’s instantly alert. He follows me outside while I clean up and I throw the ball for him. When I’m ready to head inside, he’s right there. And clay clean up happens with him at my feet. 

Watching dog. 

When I wake up, ok even before I wake up, Darby is awake. Laying on his big, round bed he watches and waits patiently for me to sit up. Once I do, he jumps up on the edge of the bed for morning kisses and hugs. After he gets love from me, he heads around the bed to say good morning to my husband. 

When one of the family is out, Darby always knows when they’re on the way home. And he sits and watches for the door to open. He’s learned to wait for us to go to him to say hello. And when I go upstairs or downstairs, so does he.  

Darby follows me everywhere. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I’m so grateful to his Guide Dog Puppy Raiser, Guide Dogs for the Blind (and all they do) and their wonderful Career Changer program. 

But most of all, I’m grateful for my Darling Darby.  

Happiness is Darby on my Feet

Every morning I wake up to a sweet, furry face looking up from the side of my bed. Even before I know I’m awake, he knows. Yet, he waits patiently for me to give him the signal for cuddles. Then he jumps up, leans in and gets a big hug. And I laugh. 

It wasn’t always this way. Two years ago, I had lost my sweet 13 year old doggy and I was beyond sad. I was lost. Everything I did from walking to reading to throwing clay was always done with her by my side. And she was gone. 

My dear husband shared my grief and insisted we both go to “Fun Day” at our local Guide Dog Campus. I loved seeing all the beautiful, happy, healthy dogs and their dedicated trainers. But with my grief so fresh, it was hard too. I wanted a hug from each and every one of them. I talked to the Guide Dog Career Changer Coordinators for a long time. I left sad but hopeful. 

Luckily, four months later I got the call about a black lab Guide Dog pup who needed a new career. 

Bouncy Boy. 

I’m so grateful for this sweet, ‘tiggerish’ boy. He bounces up every morning to greet me and my husband. He’s learned to wait at the top of the stairs for Michael to go down before he charges down and out into the yard. He’s a food gobbler, yogurt bowl licker and blueberry picker. 

He loves to run after the ball. He just doesn’t want to bring it back. His game is keep away and he loves to play it. Anytime. Anywhere. 

He has learned a lot in the last year or so here. He now takes his treats gently, greets a little slower (and without bumping into me) and looks but does not leap at other dogs. He also knows how to walk beside me off leash outside the house and ‘go home’.

Home is where my Darby is.      

Especially right now with all the fear and separation and loneliness, I know I’m not alone. Whether I’m throwing clay outside or painting inside, Darby is right there. 

Upstairs or down. Inside or out. He follows me from room to room all day long. If he can’t reach me because I forgot and closed the bathroom door, he whines to remind me. 

Just like Tigger in the Pooh books, he is happy, bouncy, playful and sweet. Even though he’s 70 pounds, he thinks he’s just a cuddly, playful lap dog. He snuggles next to me and when he can’t he watches over me. 

Wherever I go, he goes. 

Even if it’s on top of my feet. 

And I couldn’t be happier. 

Healthy Acts

My word of the year, act is shedding light on many areas in my life and the world around me. I usually expect my yearly word to be an inspiration or thought or idea to give me a nudge of encouragement every day. This year, it’s been acting a bit different. 

Act is less head and more body. Less thought and more do. It’s showing me many of the things I do everyday for my own health. I’m not talking about dieting. I think there’s too much talk about that, usually negative. Instead I want to act for my body, mind, and soul in as many healthy ways as I can. 

Yoga.  

When my kids were babies, I needed something I could do for me, in my own home, in whatever small amount of free minutes I might have from day to day. One early morning I turned on PBS and there was a woman doing some kind of exercise by herself on the floor. She spoke quietly as she bent and turned and twisted. 

I was instantly intrigued. I’d never seen anything like it. But it looked so easy, so I decided to try a few of the moves. Thankfully I was wearing leggings and a t shirt, my uniform of the time, which made it a little easier. What I found out quickly is what looked easy and felt good was quite a work out. 

I was hooked. I did that short routine as often as I could, it was my little lifesaver. I still do a series of moves every morning before I walk and I’ve taken classes once a week for almost 15 years. 

Walking the dog. 

I’ve always loved the woods. There’s just something about walking that soothes and calms me. So almost everyday, sometimes twice, I’m out there walking to the park, around the lake and through the woods. 

I used to push strollers and trikes along the paths, but now I get to take my newest darling dog, Darby. We walk along greeting our favorite 2 and 4 legged friends. He sniffs while I watch the geese nesting and look for otters, eagles and blue herons. He’s even patient while I lean against my favorite cedar tree, maybe because he knows he’ll get a treat if he’s good(which he always is). 

Good. Feeling good. I was always taught that good people had to suffer to be good. But I know now, that is totally wrong. Doing things not just because they’re good for me but because they feel good for me is good. 

It’s the healthy way to act. 

Happy Birthday, Darby!

Last year at this time, I would never have believed this day would come. I was at a Guide Dog Puppy Raiser Fun Day smiling in wonder at all the beautiful dogs and their calm, loving trainers. I saw Golden Retrievers bouncing happily and lying down calmly while their people talked. There were black and yellow Labrador Retrievers trotting along watching all the action. 

On that day, I hoped and wished that one of those puppies in training would be mine. Six months later, my wish was granted and Darby came home with me.  

Hello puppy!

As I’ve written here before, I was smitten with Darby at once. His slightly lower left ear gives him an air of curiosity. His bouncy, ‘tigger’-like energy lifts me up everyday. Really I wish I could get a video of him popping up with all four feet in the air next to my bed each morning.

Since joining our family, Darby has learned to pass other dogs without pulling, leave food on the counter where it belongs, bark on command using a hand signal, follow me off leash to get the mail, get into the shower for baths, come when he’s called.

We’re still working on greeting people and other dogs in a calm, gentle manner and not tearing down the bamboo. But he is still just a two year old after all. 

But he’s also a 70 pound, two year old.  

So his sense of space and his coordination are still developing. But that’s one of the most adorable things about him. 

When he plays, he PLAYS. His whole body and mind and soul are one bubbling unit of fun. He can’t wait to get that ball. Greet that person. Sniff those strawberries(and eat them, of course). 

It took awhile for him to trust that the big blue circle on the lawn was his very own pool. He loves the hose. He doesn’t just want to drink from it, he wants to leap at it, get sprayed with it and run around the yard at full speed. 

And he’s a tease. Yes, just like every other 2 year old, he definitely knows what he’s not supposed to do. But he does it just to get my attention. And even though I have to correct inappropriate behavior, I love him all the more for it. I try not to show it, but I know he knows.

I love this sweet birthday boy. 

Today, he got a poached egg after his kibble. He got two new peanut butter bones which he loves to chew. He got his walk to the park and many more stops in new places for him to sniff. And he got his pool refilled and the hose to jump for and his favorite fetch toy bounced in and out of the water until he was soaked. 

Now he’s happily snoozing here beside me. You may think that he’s one lucky dog but I know the real truth: I’m one lucky human. 

Summer of Fun

I love my work. Although much of my work is creative which is a way to have fun, it also requires concentration, organization and production. Fun with a purpose isn’t the same as fun for fun’s sake. 

Reading Maria Shriver’s Sunday Paper this week made me realize that loving my work isn’t the same thing as having fun. She said, “Ask yourself: What’s my idea of fun? Am I having any? What makes me laugh out loud? Who makes me laugh? Can I laugh at myself?” 

What is my idea of fun?

It’s a question I never ask myself. I’m not sure I really know the answer and I find that puzzling. After all, I’m an artist. I create. I imagine. I throw. I paint. And I do love to do it. 

Is that the definition of fun? Is that the only way I have fun? I remember having fun as a child. Like kids playing hide and seek. Or dressing up. Or biking around the neighborhood. Or roller skating. I remember swinging on the swing and tilting up to watch the sky above me. And spinning until the world got so fuzzy I fell down laughing in the grass. 

Obviously, I had fun as a child. Am I having any as an adult?

Do grown ups even have fun? I mean real fun? In this serious climate surrounding us with hate speech and gun violence and fear, there’s not much that feels safe and fun or funny. 

I don’t like to bike or skate or spin until I’m dizzy anymore. I’m not a big party person, in fact big groups make me feel overwhelmed. I’ve been in book clubs and art groups and while that’s interesting and informative, I don’t think I’d call it fun. 

I do like the beach. The sound of the waves. The squish of the sand is fun. Add my husband and my dog, Darby and a day at the beach is a good way to have fun.

But who and what makes me laugh?

My new puppy Darby is sweet and silly. His innocent, bouncy, trouncing, tiggerishness makes me laugh out loud. He’s just so playful and happy and energetic. He may weight almost 70 pounds and be a handful at times, but even when he’s impish, he’s just all joy and light. 

My husband’s droll humor always catches me unaware and caught up in my own seriousness and gives me a laugh. 

Watching comedy movies and shows get me laughing out loud. Movies like Big Fat Greek Wedding, The Birdcage, even the new one called, Book Club are fun and funny.  

But I can see I need to laugh more. As Maria Shriver pointed out, “Yes, there are a lot of issues to worry about and care about these days. But having fun is good for your health, heart and soul.” 

Maybe I need a summer of funny? 

Darling Darby

I’m smitten. He’s just so adorable and smart and funny. I could say I’ve never loved like this before, but I’d be lying. I’ve loved and lost like this many times in my life. And while the losing part sucks big time, the love is so wonderful, the memories so sweet, it is worth it all. 

He greets me every morning. Even before I’m really awake, he gets up and sits by my bed and waits for my hand to reach out from underneath the covers. I reach out and pet his ears and head and he twirls around happy to greet me and another day. 

Walks in the park. Playtime. And Treats.  

We walk around the lake near our home everyday, sometimes twice a day. Darby loves it. And he’s learned so much in 5 months about good walking behavior. He heels by my side without lunging or pulling. Ok, he still rubber-necks at oncoming dogs but we’re working on it. 

I’ve had frisbee dogs and stick chasers but Darby’s is a catcher. He loves it best when I throw his holee roller up high in the air, so he can jump up, catch it and run with it. He will bring it back if I call him but he doesn’t always want to drop it. It’s his toy and he wants to keep it or play tug or keep away. We’re working on ‘give’ and ‘drop’ which he will do more now, but he still has that puppy play mentality. And I have to admit, it makes me laugh. 

Treats are a given. Believe me, I know the protocol on working for a treat, watching his calorie intake and avoiding begging behaviors. But when he sits there, on his ‘place’ so nicely with those sweet, brown eyes staring me, I fold. Almost every time. But I use part of his daily food intake for those moments so I don’t feel too guilty. 

My new Lab assistant. 

As a studio artist, I work at home. I have one part of my studio inside and one part out in the garage. Outside or inside, Darby is there to assist me in anyway he can. 

Do I need him to bring serenity and calmness to my space? He assists by laying and sleeping silently on his bed. Do I need him to watch the garage while I set up to throw? He’s on it. Do I need him to stay in one place while I carry trays of work to the kiln? He’s got this. 

When I was glazing this past week using a new set up, I had to reposition my space to make it all work. Darby gently went to his new position and sat at attention. Once I was settled and working, he settled in keeping a close eye on me at all times in case he was needed. 

What can you say to that face? Really. It’s darling. And I’m so blessed that he’s here with me. My Darling Darby. 

Pet Peeves: A Dog Lovers Lament

I love dogs. Large and small. Happy and sad. I do not love all dog owners. I’ve watched while dogs bark, lunge, snap and bite, I don’t blame them. I blame their people. People who abuse, starve and abandon them. And people who fail to teach them how to be a good four-footed being in this two-footed world. 

Here’s the deal: When you become a dog owner, you have a big responsibility to your dog. Your responsibility goes beyond food, exercise and love. You are responsible for helping your dog understand and navigate the world around them. That means your dog needs to be taught some basic rules. And you need to understand what your dog really wants and needs. 

Sit. Stay. Listen. 

These are life saving commands. Have you ever seen a dog get hit by a car? I have. Terrible as it is, what hurts me most is knowing that, in most cases, it could have been prevented. 

Basic training is not easy. It takes time, patience, determination and lots of treats. I know because I’ve trained all my beloved dogs.  And, I also know, that it’s not impossible, however it might seem at the time. Right now, I’m working with a super sweet 18 month old lab who is a combo of Scooby Doo and Tigger. He’s smart which makes my job of teaching him both easy and hard. 

I love him. So I teach him. 

We work many times a day inside and out. We are making great progress, but we still have much to learn together. Now he moves only his head toward other dogs, kids and squirrels, instead of lunging away from me. He sits and waits near the door better. He still wants to rush up to everyone, so we ‘pass’ others and then, walk back to chat at shorter and shorter distances. He knows how to go to his ‘place’ and hang out calmly. And he did amazing this week while I threw on the wheel! 

There’s more to teach him and more for me to learn, too. This is a loving, life-long relationship. I laugh at his antics and cherish his sweet, tiggerishness, knowing that our playful training sessions are creating a strong loving bond.

Dogs do not belong in a grocery cart at Home Depot on a Saturday. 

Your dog does not want to be at Home Depot, Macy’s, or Fred Meyer. Trust me. I can feel it. Your dog is feeling confused, overwhelmed and scared. 

I watched 3 small white dogs barking for release from the trap of a moving shopping cart. I worried as an old terrier tried to navigate the slippery tile floor at Macy’s. I saw a lab mix barking uncontrollably in the hardware aisle at Home Depot because he was terrified of all the people walking all around him while his owner bent and shopped completely oblivious to him. I heard repeated pages in Fred Meyer for an owner to please, please, please come and claim their loose German Shepard mix from the front cashier. And yesterday, I saw a pet owner leash their sweet young puppy to an  outside table, then go into New Seasons to shop. 

It pains me to see untrained dogs in all the wrong places. If your dog is not an official service dog, do not take them shopping with you. Do not leave them locked in your car in the parking lot. Do not leash them to a table and leave. Do not let them run ‘free’ anywhere but in a secure, fenced area. Dogs can drown. Dogs can get hit. Dogs can get lost and stolen. 

Teaching your dog to sit and stay can save his life. 

It’s that simple.