Hopeful Acts

Where is my America? After this week, I truly don’t know. I see the acts of the Senate and that man in the White House degrade our country, our protected lands, our rights, our hearts and our souls. They take millions of our tax dollars to play golf while refusing to use the funds we pay for our healthcare, education and welfare.

What’s worse is seeing the Medal of Honor given to a racist, hate-monger while the brave soldier coming home from Afghanistan gets only a hug from his wife and children. I’m angry the very obvious criminal acts by our elected leader are not only being ignored but encouraged.

I’m mad and determined to do what I can to make all of US better. Part of that, for me, means not giving in or giving up. 

Art is my best act. 

With everything that’s going on, it’s easy for me to get mired in the muck. My best way out is to throw a little dirt or clay. Believe me, wedging clay can be a real good way to get out my anger. 

Slicing into a fresh, new block of clay is always wonderful. But slapping it down, picking it up and slapping it down again and again and again is well, wonderful therapy. Rolling it out, slapping it down again and taking the rolling pin to it is soul clearing. The best part is knowing that in the end a new piece will emerge. 

My lily vases make wonderful vessels for flowers of all kinds. A beautiful sculpture to sit on a shelf or table at anytime. But the thing I love most is how they stand tall, beautiful and strong in full bloom all year round. No matter what happens around them. 

Love acts. 

Inside my bowls, words emerge. Believe, last year’s word of the year, became a big part of my bowls. Love followed close behind. I was a little worried about using red and blue on white right now. But this piece is for a friend of many years to brighten up her newly remodeled kitchen. 

This year’s word act is making its way into my work, of course. But finding a way for it to fit well into other words is proving tricky. Why? Because something as simple as Love and Act can easily get simplified and twisted. I don’t want to be seen as promoting perversion or assault.  I want Love and Act to be seen as the blessed form of communication that it truly is. 

What are Love Acts? Kindness. Listening. Accepting. Helping. Being there. Being aware. Being a place of safety for every one and every being on this planet. 

This is how I cope using my clay to send out messages of hope and encouraging acts of love. 

Goodbye Believe

Every year, I look for a word to guide me through the coming 12 months. Last year, the word of the year that appeared to me was ‘believe’. I saw it as a hopeful, helpful mantra to move me forward from a nationally chaotic year to a new faith in our democratic system. 

This year, it’s been hard to keep believing when faced with such unbelievable events around the country. More school shootings. Domestic terrorism on the rise. Leaders who turn not just a blind eye to these events but to justice and the very core of our nations constitution. 

Hope and understanding. 

Since the 2016, I can see my words have revolved around the events in our nation’s capitol. Starting with election fraud, illegal use of campaign funds, and an attack by Russia on our election system. 

So in 2017, my word was hope. I hoped for justice, reason and integrity. I didn’t get it. In 2018, I tried understanding. I tried to find a way to understand the downward spiral in the hope of shining some light into the darkening trail of events.  Again, it only got worse. 

It’s time for something more. 

Again, I don’t want to sink into the abyss of doom. Yes, I feel all the anger, fear, frustration and embarrassment these last 3-4 years have brought to our national doorstep. 

I refuse to sit and hope. I refuse to try to understand. I can no longer believe in those people with the robes, gavels, votes and power. Yes, they swore on a bible that they would uphold the constitution. Yes, they promised to help the people who voted for them. Yes, they have a legal duty to follow the letter of the law. 

But I refuse to give up on US. 

I refuse to give up on you. Or me. 

No matter what happens, I am going to move forward anyway. I am going to make my art. Love my family. Help my neighbors. And bring as much good into the world around me as I can. 

What will my word of the new decade be? I believe it needs to be stronger than the last few years because I feel I need to be stronger. I hope we will all understand that now more than ever we need to pull together, to move forward, to make ourselves, our towns and our nation stronger than ever before.

Believe More

It’s been a hard year to believe. I know when I chose believe as my word of the year for 2019, I saw it as a way to move forward while surrounded by backward motion. I didn’t know then, of course, how far backward things in this country could move. 

Finger pointing.  Bullying behavior. Lies. Sexual harassment. Hostile work environments for high level officials. More lies. Refusal of people to work together for the greater good and not just the good in their checkbooks. More finger pointing. 

Worse a ‘leader’ who is only interested in his own ego. Who has no idea or caring about the great democratic country in which he lives. Who is only out to ‘make a deal’ for himself. Who almost succeeded in bullying to cheat his way through another election. 

It’s hard. But I can’t give up. I won’t. 

Believe in truth.  And truthful people. 

I believe in the whistleblowers. I believe in the career public servants who know why and how and what to do in their jobs at home and away. Without these dedicated professionals employed in our military, diplomatic and justice service, we would be in even graver danger. 

I admire their courage in spite of hostility thrown at them. I’m encouraged by their courage to stand up, speak out about the unethical and illegal acts happening around them. And I admire their dedication to their jobs that involve keeping so many people safe here and around the world. 

Believe in goodness.

I believe in the goodness of our beliefs. The rights that are written into our Bill of Rights. The ideals of our constitution. And I believe there’s only one way to truly show my belief. Voting. We must maintain our most precious right with better security and support. 

I believe in the goodness of people. People who adopt stray animals. Donate food. Clean up our world. Build homes for others. Give clothes and blankets and toys. I see people who embody all that is the best in America. I do my best, even as little as it is, to make our world a good place. 

Believe in love and kindness. 

It’s there. It’s in you and me. It’s how we all not just survive but truly thrive. Together. 

I believe it. 

I believe in you even more now. 

I believe the truth will shine out through this darkness. 

2019 Word of the Year

The first week of this year opens with a spotlight on greed. Our president and his minions give themselves more money while denying thousands of people their basic paychecks. With the latest national debacle hitting the fan, I really feel it’s even more important to shine some light into this darkness. 

You know I tried hope in 2017 and understanding in 2018 but I really think this year needs something more. Stronger words popped up: anger, fear, frustration, embarrassment, doubt, and a huge lack of faith in our election process, officials, government, judicial system. But I don’t want to sink into the abyss of doom. 

I can’t let myself go down that rabbit hole and give up.

I know I might sound like a Pollyanna. I know there are deep, deep problems here in this country that existed before the current person took up residence in the White House. I accept that racism, sexism and elitism all exist here. I know now that even with another person as president, all these problems would still be problems. 

There is one good thing that has come out of this muck: we all see the muck now. We see its depth, darkness and depravity. It’s clear we are being attacked by foreign governments. Our legislative and judicial systems are broken. We know we need people in office and behind the bench who are there to help us and not themselves. We are paying the price of corporate greed with our very lives. 

But, still, I believe. 

I see my neighbors coming together to help each other. I watch a woman pack a huge box at the shipping store with clothes, toys, and shoes to send to her adopted child. I know people who save lives through acts of kindness, generosity and skill every day. I hear fair and just people speak out, reach in and lift up others all around me. 

And, really and truly, I know the hard-working investigators will not only reveal but right the wrongs. The media will report it fairly. Judges will make the right decisions. Our newly elected representatives will bring about a sea of changes for our health and safety. 

In you and I, I believe. 

In these people, I believe. 

As hard as it may be now, I believe. 

We’ve had many, many dark times in our lives, our country and our world. But we have climbed up, out and above it all. I know we will, now, too. Because without the darkness, there cannot be light. Trump and all the others are where they are to help us rise out of the fog of false security into a new day of cooperation, appreciation and empowerment for all. 

Believe with me, please.  

Believe in 2019. 

Time to Go High not Low.

Photo by NASA Apollo Astronauts 12/7/72

I was sitting staring at my TV with my mind cluttered with dark thoughts when up on the screen popped a view of the Earth from the Space Station. There before my eyes was a soft, white swirl of downy clouds topping planet Earth. 

My mind stopped. My eyes relaxed. I actually smiled down at all of us who live here. Birds, otters, whales, dogs, cats, horses, elk, deer, bears, fish and yes, even, insects all eat and sleep here. And yes, most of us will die here. Many of us much too soon. 

The fear and pain and horror is not to be denied. Many sad realities of now need changing and the weight is hard for all of us. Even more so for the mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers who have lost their lives and loved ones. So many wrongs need to be righted in this topsy-turvy time.

But it’s way too easy to get caught up in the hate and fear and violence. And doing so helps no one. And stops nothing. At this low point in our life in this country and on this planet, I found some comfort in these beautiful and wise words from Michelle Obama.

Michelle Obama on going high.  

“I absolutely still believe that we’ve got to go high-always and without exception. It’s the only way we can keep our dignity. Because if we lose our dignity, what do we have left?”

“When someone’s trying to pull you down into the mud, it takes a lot less effort to give in and join them in the muck than to keep yourself upright, standing tall. If you allow yourself to play on their terms, they win. It’s what they want you to do. You can’t give them the satisfaction.”

“Now, going high doesn’t mean giving up or ignoring reality. It doesn’t mean you shoe away from the fight or weaken your principles. It means you lead with your whole heart and your whole soul -your whole value system - and not just whatever happens to be your stance on a given issue. Going high isn’t just about the fight you want to win, but it’s also about the person you want to be -the kind of country you want to have.”

“Barack and I have always tried to do this: When the haters come our way, we don’t let them distract us from our purpose. We brush them off when we can, and we deal with them when we need to. But we never lose sight of our goal. We never stop working. And we never stop trying to set a good example for the next generation - not just for our two daughters but for everyone’s kids. Do we want the next generation to be angry? Do we want them to be spiteful and petty? Or do we want them to live by the values that our parents taught us - values like honesty and generosity and respect?”

“I think the answer is easy enough. And it’s an answer that always applies, not just when it’s easy.”

How to deal with fury and fear?

It’s been an awful week in this country. Watching the bravery of one woman who dared to come forward to save the sanctity of the highest court in our land. Listening to an experienced federal judge shout, insult and refuse to answer questions put to him showed him to be totally unqualified for the Supreme Court. And then, our president ( lower case, intended) mocked her in a speech, which, showed him to be not fit for his office either.

How do I deal with the onslaught of fury and fear that I feel? Where can I find information to help me understand, process and move through all this?  

The answers came directly into my inbox. 

Several authors wrote insightful emails that not only helped me out of the trench of anger and fear, but illuminated the darkness. Here are quotes from their emails. 

Lissa Rankin with psychologist, Robert Augustus Masters, PhD. Robert’s on the ‘boy’s club’:   

“I’m inviting men to stop toleration this faction, even if it includes your boss, your political rep, your law enforcement buddy, your drinking pals, your brother-in-law, your father. And I’m also inviting women who are caught up in this faction-through misplaced loyalty, fear, blindness-to also cease toleration such men and speak the fuck up.”

Tara Mohr on Dr. Christine Blasey Ford’s testimony:

“I want all of us women to see what we watched today as a play, a kind of narrative-crafted, sculpted, with a point of view that is meant to have a particular impact on us.  

The story could have been shaped as one about investigating(truly investigating) a potential crime, or as a story about rape culture in teenage life, or about the patterns of abuse we see amongst powerful men - or all of those. But that is not how the story was shaped for us. The title was given: “Is she telling the truth?”and that question was made the central theme. 

The shaping of the story is intended to shape us as women. It is supposed to teach us that the first question to ask a victim is not, “How can we help?”but “Are you to be believed?” It is intended to imprint into our hearts that if we speak up, we will be met not with compassion, but with skepticism from our fellow human beings, when we most need their support. The story is crafted to vilify for us the caricatures of the conniving woman and the good guy wrongly accused. It is here to teach us women to become skeptical of each other, and then, even worse, to become suspicious of our own memories and experiences.

So, my request today to all of us is this: see the play being performed for your inculcation, and choose not to swallow its narrative. Instead, choose consciously what you will make of what you saw, or heard, or read.”

What do you choose? 

I choose not to feel like a victim. I choose to see myself as a survivor and a champion of truth. 

Here is the truth: Abuse, bullying, violence towards someone else smaller than you doesn’t show power, it shows weakness. And your weakness is what you really fear. 

Stop. Now. 

No more excuses. No more denials. No more temper tantrums. Man up, America. 

Out of the Darkness comes Light.

As I sit here, tucked under a cozy throw,  watching my granddaughter slumber in sweet peacefulness, I wish and want and hope. 

I wish for her to live a life in a world different from the one I have lived in. A world where all people are safe and respected in body, mind and soul. A country where everyone understands that everyone has the right to live free from abuse of any kind.

I want her wonderful, brilliant mind to be embraced, encouraged and utilized. A system of education and work where her talents and dreams are seen as not just valid but invaluable. A place where work and health and life are an integrated whole for everyone. 

I hope she will never know the pain of abuse. I hope she will be seen and heard and encouraged not to just do well, but accomplish more than anyone else before her. I hope she will have the power to choose her own path, her own life, her own love based on her own guidance system with the support of a good education, healthcare and economic system that values people over product and bottom lines. 

Enough now. There’s been enough darkness. 

While she sleeps peacefully on this cozy afternoon, I read the news and shiver, not from the cold but from the darkness growing across our nation. 

I’ve lived in a very different kind of world. (Yes, #metoo) A place where power meant pain. Physical punishment was not only accepted but encouraged. Where on Fridays, the nuns would use a belt on the week’s worst child and broadcast it over the school public address system. Where little girls were to be quiet, sit still and listen more than talk.

Graduating at the height of the feminist movement, I thought now, everything will change. Finally, women will have power over their own body, mind and life. Finally, there will be no more abuse or pain or inequity. I worked and got paid more than my mother did, but there was no big change. Yet, I was encouraged by even those small steps forward. 

Forward or Backward?

It seems with every news story, we are moving backward instead. Why? I’ve been asking and asking myself that question over and over in a desperate attempt to figure out how we are now where we are in this country. 

I thought, when I was 20, that the world was changing for women in a good way. Twenty years later, I prayed that the world would finally change for my daughter in a much better way. Now, I look at my granddaughter’s sweet, sleeping face and I see that the world hasn’t changed very much at all. 

And I’m angry. No. I’m pissed. This was totally unacceptable then and even more so now.  

Here is the truth: Those patriarchal men know their time of power and evil is ending. That is what these men really fear. 

Now it’s time. Our time to see beyond this darkness. It is our time to step into the light. 

And create a different kind of world. 

Look to the horizon:

The sky is dark and the stars blink bright. 

Softy, the celestial night lights dim as the world slowly turns from night to day.

The deep black sea turns grey as light pink dabs the clouds and blue fades up. 

Birds silent in the dark, begin to speak up and the first boat jets across the waves. 

Good morning, world. 

A new day has begun.

America: Anti isn’t Working

Over the years, there have been some great marching mantras: Pro Choice, Gay Pride, Freedom March, Equal Rights, Make Love not War. With what’s going on in this country right now, we need a new, positive, energizing saying, slogan, chant, mantra. 

It can’t and shouldn’t be ANTI anything. Now I agree I don’t want our country to be racist or fascist. I don’t want one religion or one political or economic group or one ethnicity to bully any one into submission. I don’t want our country to be anti-anything. And lately, that’s all I’m hearing is anti-this and anti-that. Exclude that. Keep them out. 

This is NOT America. We need to use our words to unite us. We need to be Pro US. 

America is for Freedom for All. For living the life you want while respecting that someone else is going to live the life they want. And they won’t be the same. America is about individuality, creativity, ability and cooperation. America is about living together while making our own way in life the best way we can.

But most of all, it’s about appreciating what each and everyone of us contributes every day to make this country into the richly textured, innovative, growing land we all share.

We all belong here. Whether we agree or not because here we value variety. We welcome diversity. Not divisiveness. We agree to disagree. And we have laws and judges to help us stay on the right path. We all long to belong.

So what do we want to say? And how do we want to say it? Really.

In the dictionary, the opposite of fascism is democracy. The list of  synonyms for democracy, goes on and on. Here are a few: freedom, commonwealth, liberation, nation. Under these words: liberty, people, free market, deliver, rescue, release, union, together and many more. 

Freedom for everyone. Kindness to all men and women and children. A government by the people and for all the people. Our diversity is really our strength. Our multi-cultural heritage brings more ideas, deeper understanding and a richer life to all of us. But finding the right words isn’t easy. 

Help me. Help us all. 

So I picked up a pen and paper and started writing things down. I like using United States or U.S. as meaning all of US. I know there are better ideas out there. Your words and ideas will help get more positive thoughts, words and ideas out there right now. 

Here are some ideas, please add your own in the comments:

Build a better U.S.

Build U.S. Up

Unite U.S.

Free U.S.

Let U.S. live free. 

Home. Heart. US.    

All of U.S. together

Move US Forward

For US all 

Move with US

America, the Beautiful.

On the anniversary of our Independence Day, it’s hard to see the beauty out there. I know. I’ll be the first to admit these Trump years have been a new kind of hell here for so many people. If you read my blog, you know I’ve aired my fair share of angry complaints about it all. 

But this week, I want to try to search out the good, the beautiful, the love that lives right here.

Think with me for a minute. Turn off your devices. Close your eyes and breathe in the fresh air. Listen to the birds and bees and squirrels and all the life around you. As a country, we’ve worked hard to keep our air and water clean. We’ve succeeded in many ways. And in many ways, we have much more to do. 

But that’s good.  Most of us share the dream of an even better country and world.

Think of how you help others. Think of the others who’ve helped you. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures, sometimes the smallest kindness makes the biggest change. A little gentleness. A smile. Another driver who lets you in front of them. Someone who picks up something you’ve dropped in the grocery store. 

You are a good person and you’re one of many here. People who care about women and children. People who help the sick, feed the hungry and teach children to be kind and fair.  

In the deepest darkness, we all need light. 

Be that light. Show your kindness. Be understanding. See the fear around you and move on anyway. Lead by example with understanding, perseverance, strength and gentleness. 

Be true to the heart of America’s dream: a place for all to live, learn and love. Embrace the best for you and us all. 

No we can’t change the past. Yes, these last few years have been hard. But we can move forward together. America can be a beautiful place of shared wealth, health and values with safety and security for all.