Leaning into Life

If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know that life has thrown the unexpected my way. Again. It’s been time filled with grief and anxiety. Yet, even with all the changes and bureaucratic nightmares, there are moments of fun and peace. 

Right now, I’m writing by the window. Looking out at a sunny day with a slight cool breeze lifting me up. 

Fun with mud. 

This week, I got out my clay and played. I rolled and stamped. I slipped and joined. I cut new shapes with tiny cookie cutters. Voila! New flower fairies or are they flower angels? I’m not sure yet. That’s ok. What really matters is I had my hands in mud. And it was fun.

The next day, I threw some more mud. I wedged up some porcelain, sat down at my wheel and threw a few bowls. The most wonderful thing about it: I didn’t think. I didn’t worry. I didn’t have any expectations. I just slapped that clay down and the next thing I knew I had 2 bowls. When finished one will be bowl for baby Madden, like the ones I made for Meyer and Cieran. 

Life is a roller coaster. 

I’ve said this before, I know. But it’s so true. What’s also true, I hate roller coasters! And I think we’d all agree, with Covid, supply chain issues, global weather disasters and layoffs, we want off this roller coaster! Now. 

But, it doesn’t work that way, does it? 

So what can you do? Hang on and lean in. 

I’ve been hanging on with books and walks and clay. I’ve been leaning in with family and friends and furry four footers. I’m only a few weeks away from having my medical coverage, so I can lean out a little into the world, soon. 

I don’t know what is going to happen next. 

And that’s a little scary, especially after the last 3 years.

But I’m going to try something new,

Leaning in to life.  

And hoping for good things. 

August Already

 

A few months ago, I decided to take the summer off. So many things had changed that turned my life upside down. I needed time and space. I needed to let go of my old routine in order to figure out a new one.

At the beginning of all these unexpected life changes, I had a hard time. I wasn’t eating or sleeping or feeling very well. One of the biggest stresses was having my healthcare taken away with no warning. It pushed my anxiety through the roof. I had a hard time feeling safe to leave the house or spend time with friends. I had to learn to manage my anxiety by first accepting it and then working to find ways to ease it. 

I don’t know if I’m completely there yet, but I did find ways to help myself. I wrote about the three C’s: Clay, Crochet and Cleaning. These things plus a few others that help me are simple: walking in the park with my husband and darling Darby, reading books, cutting flowers and taking care of my grand babies. 

Walking. 

I’m very lucky to live close to a wonderful park filled with wildlife, green spaces, play spaces for children and adults. You might think that walking in the same park everyday would be boring but it’s not.

Everyday there’s something new to see: blackberries are out, young geese are learning to fly,  kids are laughing, Darby is sniffing and my grand baby is sleeping peacefully. 

Clay and Crochet. 

I found years ago that working with my hands was calming. Giving my body movement, gives my anxious mind a rest. The biggest plus, it’s fun too! 

So far, I’ve made crochet blankets in mint green, purple, pink, yellow, midnight blue and white. I’m working on a new one in peach. I love to crochet and am so glad my family loves their soft throws.

I’ve also been busy making new clay animals and fairies. I’ve done sculpture for decades, but right now, I needed something small and fun. These kitties, doggies, birds and fairies seem to be filling up my studio shelves. I’m hoping the hot weather will ease, so I can fire them soon. 

Beautiful Babies. 

I never thought I’d be one of ‘those’ grandmas. You know the ones who can’t stop bragging about their grandchildren. But, it’s official, I am. They call me ‘Gram’ after my Gram whom I loved dearly. My only hope is to pass on the love to the next generation. That said, here are some pics whether you want them or not. 

Anxiety is not a fun place to live. 

I knew it was up to me

To find my way out:

Walking, crocheting, playing with clay

And best of all, baby kisses and hugs.