A Good Kind of Tired

Life revolves from inward to outward, fast to slow, busy to not. This cycle isn’t just mine, of course, it’s the way of the world all around me. From the seasonal growth of spring and summer to the seasonal rest of fall and winter, movement happens whether we want it to or not. 

I’ve shared my ‘seasonal musings’ many times before. While I love spring and summer, fall has been my least favorite time of year most of my life. This year, spring hit with death for me. And, as autumn leaves fall this year, even with the nationwide difficulties, I feel an odd sense of optimism.

Working hard to hardly working. 

Last week, my studio time was spent pricing, packing, loading, unloading, setting up, and taking down my work. It was a weekend show called Art In The Burbs at a local high school. I was excited to be juried in. I was glad to be sharing a booth with another ceramic artist friend. We both did well on sales which is definitely worth a happy dance. 

But it was also a huge amount of work. And the whole process from inventory and wrapping up my porcelain for transport to meeting, greeting and selling was stressful. Ahead this week is unpacking from the weekend, doing sales inventory, editing a group newsletter and gallery sitting. 

Right now, it’s nap time. My granddaughter is here peacefully sleeping. I am cozily sitting on the window seat dozing, clicking around and, obviously, writing. One thing I’ve learned about naptime from my granddaughter is to take some time to rest, myself. Something I never did when my kids napped. But now I know one of the best ways to actually get more work done is to take time to stop. 

I feel a good kind of tired today. 

I tried a new kind of show and it worked out well. I learned a lot about setting up and manning a booth for 16 hours over 2 days. What seemed overwhelming in the beginning, was not in the end. I have a holiday show and gallery show coming up in the next few months. And the curious thing is, I’m not worried. 

Just like this weekend, once I got there and started setting up, I was surprisingly calm. 

The air feels like it’s clearing. 

Maybe it’s the seasonal change. Maybe it’s not. But watching the leaves fall this year, is not making me sad. It’s like a crispness is sweeping through my soul.  

The emotional smog that’s covered my life for months, feels like it’s lifting. 

I feel a small sliver of hope lighting and lightening my way.