Living a Gutsy Life

Gutsy is a word making the media rounds right now because of a new book, “The Book of Gutsy Women” by a famous mother-daughter duo, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Chelsea Clinton. I can’t even imagine what Hilary and her daughter went through during their days in the White House and on the road during the 2016 presidential election. I admire both of them. 

What they did and do and who they continue to be takes real guts. And they see the ability to be gutsy in other women. I don’t see it in myself but I can see it clearly in other women around me.

Meet my favorite gutsy woman. 

She is my daughter, Caitlin. From a young age, she loved to sing and act. Her first role at the age of 12, was the lead in “Trial by Jury”, a Gilbert & Sullivan play. Her naturally beautiful voice took everyone by surprise. But as her mother, I saw one very gutsy girl up there on stage as a 6th grader in front of the entire junior high school. 

Now, she has a Master’s in Vocal Performance. A list of vocal scholarships, degrees, awards and performances as well as work conducting and teaching music at academic levels. 

Three years ago, she moved to Los Angeles with her husband and found new jobs and performance opportunities. 

Beginning a new life takes guts. 

Now, Caitlin is a new mom. And as any mom knows bringing a baby into the world is a gutsy act. Birth itself is scary and many times, traumatic. Recovery from surgery takes time and sleep which almost don’t exist as a mother of a newborn. Add the responsibility of being the sole manufacturer of food for another human being, right? Nursing your baby is natural and wonderful. And very overwhelming. 

Now add to all of that trying to make a living in an insecure world as a vocalist and musician and teacher. Well, it all takes a lot of guts. 

Women are gutsy. 

Many people are gutsy including men, of course. My husband and son and son-in-law come to mind first. They have each worked hard, suffered losses and still continue to accomplish more. 

Women many times start out in the background just by being born female. I grew up in a man’s world surrounded by brothers. I was taught early to do woman’s work. But in spite of or maybe even because of that, I was very determined to do more with my life than dishes. 

And I did. Writing. Awards. Art classes. Gallery shows. 

Yet, even though I’ve done a lot more than dishes and diapers, I’ve relished that too. Nothing can compare to holding and feeding and teaching my babies. And as those babies grow, it’s a growing challenge to follow their fearlessness into this fearful and uncertain world. 

But, let’s face it, living a real life takes guts.  

So maybe, I am a gutsy woman. 

And yes, you are too. 

Happy to be a Mom.

Did you know that Mother's Day was created by an everyday mom in West Virginia in 1908.  She got congress to set aside an official day to honor mothers across the country in 1914. What she didn't want was the commercialization of her idea. In fact, when the greeting card, flower, candy companies started to market the holiday, she protested. 

I agree with her.

To me, Mother's Day is a time to be with my kids. It's not about flowers or cards or gifts. It could be a barbecue on the patio. A pint at the local pub. Having my son stop by and take my car to the car wash. Or having my daughter's breakfast strata together. 

Together. Is the key word here.

Because my 'kids' are all grown up now, finding time to fit into their busy world gets difficult. Especially when they don't live close by. I'm lucky my son is so close and I get to take care of his sweet daughter every week.  But my daughter has lived far away from me for several years, now. I'm lucky we text and chat, but I miss her. 

This Mother's Day, I sat in a church in Monrovia, California and listened to my daughter sing in the choir. I don't go to church anymore, I was there because my child was there. I went to hear her and spend time with her.

We went to Disneyland and California Adventure with her husband for the day. We screamed through Thunder Mountain Railroad, Grizzley River Ride, Star Tours and Pirates of the Caribbean. 

We walked around her neighborhood under bright purple trees and along the Long Beach Boardwalk. We watched old tv shows, ate, drank coffee, talked and sometimes, just sat there together. And that, to me, is the true essence of Mother's Day. 

I didn't become a mother to be honored, given flowers or presents.

    

Many years ago, I chose to be a mom. Yes, I had a career.  Yes, it was the height of the feminist movement. Yes, I was going to go back to work as was expected of me, but I chose differently. Instead of finding childcare, I decided to leave the advertising world and enter the world of being my own child's childcare provider. I was snubbed and chastised and told my choice was wrong for me, for women, for feminism. I did it anyway. 

I followed my heart and I'm so glad I did. 

And I brought two amazing, talented, intelligent and loving people into the world. I'm so happy to be their mother every day. 

Curious.

Life is such a curious thing, really.  When I really think about all the miracles that surround my life, even the very act of living, I'm overwhelmed, awed and, yes, curious.

I watched my granddaughter, Meyer, push and pull herself across 3 feet of floor. I clapped and smiled at one of her first successful movements across the earth by herself.  She looked up and smiled and grabbed for the object of her desire: my son's cell phone.  This new technology is already changing her little life in so many ways.  Her naps and feedings and changing all are on an app that we all use to keep up with her.  Her pictures all over social media.  And the other day, she pushed the button to post her own Instagram selfie.  

I love all the baby pictures, but I'm curious, will she in 10 or 15 years? 

I also watched my daughter try on gowns for her masters graduate recital this week.  I loved watching her twirl in the gown she loved.  She's a beautiful woman.  An experienced soprano who sings everything from opera to jazz, yet, I still saw the sweet little girl bouncing in her dress up clothes singing to Beauty and the Beast.  We had a wonderful weekend, walking and shopping and eating out and talking.  Then, she went back to her home and I went back to mine.  She'll be moving farther away soon, so I treasure the moments we had together last weekend.  

Curious isn't it, how we grow and change so much in another 10 or 15 years?  

How crawling three feet turns into the feat of driving thousands of miles in one day?  How phones used to ring on the wall and now they ding in our pockets wherever we are?  How naps and feedings and baby pictures were something either forgotten or packed away in an attic and now they're on the Internet for everyone to see?  How playing dress up evolves into stage performances in beautiful ball gowns?

To my little granddaughter, crawling across the floor seems like forever.  To my darling daughter, graduating from her masters program seems like years.  To me, watching them, it all seems like a blink of an eye.

Everyday, we wake up and live life.  We never know what's going to happen or how long something's going to take us.  But we do it anyway.  How?  One breath at a time. 

How curious.