Everyday Dads

I grew up in a family of boys. As the only girl, I was the odd ‘man’ out always trying to be tough and at the same time hoping to be seen in the crowd. 

It was my Dad, not my Mom, who always had my back. It was my Dad who reached out when I was overwhelmed. He drilled me in math. He gave me his books to read. When I wondered ‘why’ about anything from the Bible to history or science, he answered my questions truthfully. And counseled me to keep the knowledge to myself around the nuns who taught by sending me to the coat closet for asking too many questions. 

I loved him and thank him for everything he did for me. Yet, he was a traditional man of his time. He traveled a lot. He did not help around the house. He was not an ‘everyday’ Dad. 

A new kind of Dad. 

I married a man who is the best kind of Dad I could imagine for my children. He’s been all in from the moment they were born. He diapered, rocked, bathed, fed, played and loved our children. He built them play sets. He read them books. He took them to work with him. 

Now my children have their own children. And my son has diapered, rocked and fed his daughter. Today on Father’s Day, he made her a delicious egg and potato breakfast. He got her dressed, took her shopping and played with her. 

 

This is my son-in-law’s first Father’s Day. His son is not yet a year old and yet, he has also been there from the moment that baby was born. And he’s diapered, fed, and rocked his son. Today, he set out his ‘Dad’s’ day dinner for his wife and himself while their son napped. 

Everyday Dads. 

My Dad was there for me and he was a good Dad for his day. 

But my children had a Dad who was there for them everyday. And he still is. 

Now, because my children had an everyday Dad, they are there for their children everyday, too. 

Process doesn’t always mean progress

Life is a process. Up. Down. Back and forth. Life moves in its own waves whether I like it or not. Whether I want it or not. And I have to be reminded again and again, there are stronger forces that surround me. Some keep me afloat and some push me over. 

It’s hard for me to see when it’s time to let go and trust.

“Two steps forward. One step back.”

This is a quote called ‘the dance of life’ that I saw many years ago and I’ve found it to be true many times. It’s helped me see that progress isn’t a straight line, that set backs don’t have to be an ending. It’s just all part of the process. 

In the last few weeks, I’ve just focused on the process of living. Walking. Baking. Wedging clay. Getting enough sleep. With so much happening in the world and my mind and heart, I had to keep it simple. 

Power walking and baking. 

I like to walk fast and luckily for me, my Darby loves it too. Around we go day after day, counting the baby geese and stopping to sniff along the way. Even on a rainy day, Darby always makes my day brighter. 

This week’s baking challenge was a baguette. I wanted to use the sourdough, rosemary from the garden and parmesan for the flavors in two crispy, long, thin loaves. Perfect for a glass of wine and some cheese, or avocado. 

Mud makes everything better. 

Coming back to clay: rolling it, throwing it, painting it. It just helps me in so many ways. This week, I threw more teacups. Not because I sold any of the others(yet) but because they are a new challenge. Teacups are really created in the trimming stage. I used to hate trimming and now, for some reason, I love it. 

Why? I’m not exactly sure. But making the delicate little pedestal for the cup is a new challenge. Trying something new is both scary and exciting. Maybe just what I need right now. 

Focusing on the process. Seeing every single step whether it’s walking, kneading or trimming as a way forward through these difficult days. Whether or not I see any progress in the moment or hour or day isn’t necessary. 

It’s taking the steps that count.