No Apologies.

Back in my 20's, I vividly remember another female coworker bumped into her chair and said, "I'm sorry." I also vividly remember being appalled because she just apologized to HER CHAIR! It was just so ridiculous to me, really think about it, the chair has no feelings so why in the world would she apologize to it?

Unfortunately, many decades later, I understand. 

As a red-hot, young feminist, I saw her behavior as a flaming example of what not to do. But after years on this planet as a woman, I have to admit, I've done it too. Ok, maybe not to a chair. But I've said those words to plants, dogs, cats, spiders, and strangers everywhere. 

Just this week, I caught myself apologizing for: trying to get down a crowded grocery store aisle, needing help to reach items on a high shelf, a dirty window, silver glitter on a store conveyor belt, getting a parking space in a crowded lot. In NONE of these situations did I do anything to 'wrong' anyone else. I was even told by a cashier that the conveyor belt was already littered with glitter from OTHER customers. 

In other words, I had no need to apologize at all. 

Here's something I'm asking myself now: What would a guy say? What could I say instead? Or better yet, do I need to say anything at all? Really, how many times do you or I really do anything that needs an apology. 

If I've decided to do or not do something that is in my own best interests for my health, wealth or well-being, I do not need to be sorry. Just because someone else wants me to choose otherwise, I do not need to apologize. I need to remember making a choice that is good for me, is my right as a human being on this planet. Even when it comes to simple things like getting a jar of peanut butter in a crowded grocery store aisle. 

Guilt free, new words. 

Here are a few phrases I'm going to start saying instead of, "I'm sorry."

"Hi, there. I need to get the peanut butter."

"Oh, look at all that glitter."

"Look out, coming through!" Or better yet, just navigate around the crowd. 

"Oh, look. A great parking space!"

"Oh, it was a miscommunication."

"Hi, I have a question." or "I'm looking for ______. Do you know where it is?"

And most of all, "I can't make it." Or "I can't do it." Or "I'm all booked up."

Or, "No."

I know, the 'n' word is scary especially for women as we are not trained to say it so boldly or simply. But, let me be bold, and say it's time to stop saying sorry. Say No. No apologies necessary.